Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In many areas, children are told that if they want to achieve any thing they have to work hard. Although it motivates children towars their aim, it causes stress and anxiety in children. This essay will discuss advantages and disadvantages of giving this message to children.

On the one hand, nowadays many children need inspiration to complete a challenging task because if they loose their confidence they are not be able to do that. Moreover, children also learn that success requires dedication, discipline and regular practice. For example, if a children is given motivation he may perform better and may develop interest in exploring new opportunities and pursue careers they are passionate about.

On the other hand, there are several drawbacks of this message. One major disadvantage is that children may think that working hard always leads to success which is not true. Furthermore, lot of failures would cause stress and anxiety in the children. People have different abilities and some goals are difficult to achieve due to some problems such as financial instability of any disease. For instance, a child may work very hard to become a professional sports player but may not succeed due to some injury. As a result, they will feel disappointed.

In conclusion, telling children that they can achieve anything through hard work can increase their confidence and encourage them to achieve their goals. However, it may also create unrealistic expectations and disappointment. Therefore, parents should encourage their children to work hard while helping them understand that success depends on several factors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and maintains a clear, balanced position, especially in the conclusion: hard work can build confidence, but success also depends on other factors. The supporting examples are relevant, including the child aspiring to become a professional sports player and being prevented by injury. The explanation that effort develops “dedication, discipline and regular practice” also directly answers the question. To strengthen the response further, develop some points more fully: explain how children might respond to setbacks or how adults can encourage effort without promising guaranteed success. The reference to financial instability or illness is relevant, but its connection to the message could be made more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: the introduction presents the issue, separate body paragraphs discuss benefits and drawbacks, and the conclusion brings both sides together. Paragraphing is appropriate, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the structure easy to follow. Ideas within each paragraph generally develop in a logical order, moving from a main point to explanation or an example. To make the flow more natural, vary the transitions and connect some sentences more explicitly. For instance, the shift from children’s different abilities to financial instability or illness could be linked with a phrase explaining that circumstances, as well as ability, can limit outcomes.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for discussing the topic, and several choices communicate relevant ideas clearly, including “dedication,” “discipline,” “unrealistic expectations,” and “disappointed.” There are also attempts to express more specific concepts, such as “financial instability” and “professional sports player.” However, some word choices and spelling errors reduce precision, including “towars their aim,” “loose their confidence,” and “any disease.” The repeated use of “children,” “hard,” and “success” also limits flexibility. Aim for accurate collocations and a wider range of expressions for effort, setbacks, and achievement; this would make the argument more precise without changing its clear meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional clause (“if they want to achieve…”) and a relative clause (“which is not true”). Most sentences remain understandable, and the concluding sentence combines advice with a subordinate clause effectively. Some grammatical errors persist, however. For example, “they are not be able to do that” has an incorrect verb form, and “if a children is given motivation” has an article and agreement problem. In “a child may work very hard … but may not succeed,” the pronoun reference later shifts to “they,” which is not fully consistent. Review verb forms, singular/plural agreement, and articles, then proofread sentence patterns for consistency.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.