Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often heard that many pupil are told that they can gain everything they desire if they work and try hard enough in some culturies. This essay will discuss that children belief and hardwork they do are the biggest advantages of this, but upset and losing cultural belief if they dont get they want are the preliminary disadvantages.

The main advantages of this message are children trust about the culture and working hard for achieving succuss. Firstly, children trust thier culture and start doing which work they want in thier life with belief and positiveness in them which help to stcik them for longer time. Secondly, youngster start doing hard work with the belief that they will obsiously succus as their cultural says.For example; From the young age, children are told to work hard and beleive in good they will surely get succuss.

Despite these adavntages, upset after unsuccussful and misunderstanding children will develop in thier mind if they didnot succussed. Whenver children didnot get what they achive, they started douting their cultural and may not make them following the cultural. Also, thier belief in understanding they can get whatever they want at the young age may misunderstand them and may involve in things which they will never achieve. For eaxmple; A management student geting advised to work hard and became doctor which is absoultely not oke.,

In conclusion, giving children can achieve anything message can be advantegeous if it help them to work and develop positiviness in their work. However, geting upset and not following cultural after unsuccus are the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a relevant overall position: the message may encourage effort, but it can also lead to disappointment. The body paragraphs identify these advantages and disadvantages, and the example of a management student being urged to become a doctor points towards unrealistic expectations. However, the discussion is only partially developed. The advantage that children “trust their culture” is unclear and does not explain directly how the message benefits them; the example mainly repeats the claim about working hard. The disadvantage paragraph also needs to distinguish disappointment from the risk of pursuing an unsuitable goal. Explain these effects more precisely and support each with a clear, relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable essay structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Despite these advantages” help signal the main sections. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because ideas are joined without clear explanation. For instance, the link between children believing in their culture and choosing work they want is not made explicit, while the sentence about “misunderstanding” shifts between unrealistic expectations and pursuing unattainable goals. Some linking phrases are also repetitive or awkwardly used. Organise each body paragraph around one clear main idea, then explain its effect and give an example that directly supports it; use clearer references to avoid repeating “children” and “belief.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “advantages,” “disadvantages,” “belief,” “achieving,” and “hard work.” However, the range is limited, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors make some ideas difficult to understand. Examples include “succuss,” “culturies,” “positiveness,” and “douting.” Several combinations are also unnatural, such as “children trust their culture” and “the preliminary disadvantages”; these do not express your intended meaning clearly. Aim to use accurate, natural phrases for the effects discussed, such as confidence, perseverance, unrealistic expectations, and disappointment. Proofread spelling carefully and check whether each word fits its context, rather than relying on repeated forms of “belief,” “work,” and “success.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and some attempts at longer sentences, including clauses beginning with “if” and “when.” However, the range is limited, and errors in sentence construction, agreement, and verb forms occur frequently, sometimes making meaning hard to follow. For example, “many pupil are told” has a plural agreement error, and “they started douting their cultural” does not form a clear grammatical clause. In “children belief and hardwork they do are the biggest advantages,” the sentence structure is incomplete or unclear. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check plural forms, verb tense consistency, articles, and punctuation, especially in longer sentences.

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