Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In some cultures , teenager are often told that they can achieve anything if they work hard only. I fully agree with this statement because this habit help children to survive easily and confidently. In this essay, We will discuss the both advantages and dis advantages of this habit.

To begin with, students in their childhood are not able to work hard because at this age they want to collect some memories and spend a lot of time with their families, friends and many other individuals. But when they reach to age in which they feel that they are able to do any work, they should do work. Because working in any field can help a children to gain experience, gain knowledge, communicate with other people and deal with daily affairs of life. For instance, if students work and earn money, they will be able to afford their expenses.

Moreover, it also have some disadvantages which would represent negativity for children. When a children have to do a lot of work and do not get focus on his study, it can affected badly to his future life. For instance, children would forget his study experience and do not get focus on their study. Furthurmore, they have to create a lot of attention on his goal and do not have much time to spend time with their closers.

In concliusion, by viewing the both things, I agree with its advantages because working hard would be prove very benefical for all individuals even if they are students. They can run their life easily, efficently and can fight with all afairs of life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that hard work can benefit children, and you do include both advantages and disadvantages. The example of earning money to cover expenses is relevant, as is your concern that excessive work may interfere with study and family time. However, the response only partly addresses the question: it shifts from the message children are told—that effort can help them achieve anything—to whether children should work or earn money. The advantages and disadvantages of encouraging this belief, such as motivation or unrealistic expectations, need fuller explanation. Your position is also not entirely consistent: the opening says “I fully agree,” while the conclusion weighs advantages against disadvantages. Develop each side directly in relation to the message.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the essay. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first body paragraph moves from childhood memories to working in any field and then earning money, without clearly connecting these points to the message in the question. Some ideas are repeated, particularly the concern about losing focus on study. References such as “this habit” and “it” are not always precise, and the conclusion repeats general claims rather than drawing together the two sides. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to its main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a basic range of vocabulary to discuss work, study, money and family, and phrases such as “gain experience” and “afford their expenses” communicate relevant ideas. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, including “work hard only,” “create a lot of attention on his goal,” and “fight with all affairs of life.” Spelling errors such as “Furthurmore,” “concliusion,” “benefical,” and “efficently” also reduce accuracy. These issues sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Build a more precise vocabulary around the actual topic—for example, motivation, persistence, realistic expectations and pressure—and check spelling and natural word combinations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “When a children have to do a lot of work…” and a reason clause beginning “because.” However, complex attempts are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to understand. Examples include subject–verb agreement (“this habit help,” “it also have”), article and number errors (“a children”), and inconsistent pronouns (“his” for plural “children”). Sentence boundaries are also problematic: “Because working in any field…” is a fragment, while several sentences join ideas without clear punctuation. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, singular and plural forms, and complete sentence construction before adding more complex clauses.

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