Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I strongly belive that nothing is impossible and children despite nationality can achieve their goals.This essay i tray to explain and discuss my opininion about that.

It can bee seen that nowadays education level is different around the word. Some countires have better environment and better approach for young peoples and other counties situation is absolutely oppisite. I belive that if children want to achive something they will do it in the future. One of the clearest example is Celin Dion, she raised poor family with 13 siblings. This family did not have money to promote her career but Celin had a trust and worked hard to continue singing. The second important influencial person was Knut Hamsun. He was a norwegian writer who was very poor family and as a young ages worked with his uncle as a servant. He wanted to be a writer and despite all hard times he continued his work and became huge person not only Norway. Both mentioned figure lived different times and centuries but situation is clear and one. They had strong back from their family and never gave uo for their dreams

On the other hand, if we preassure children to achieve something we maybe made a mistake. It is quite well-known that only hard try is not enough. Some children have more sensitive mind, less resilent of menage stress and all worst kind of feeling. Some cases , if child is born very poor or even war environment it is clear that maybe they were understress and that case it is impossible children to be competitive.In Ukraine was is stil going and it is not right to tell them just try more harder, because this is not just their willingnes.

In conclusion, despite what is happening to the worl or family we must support children , compliment their skills and teach them that nothing is impposible. Faith is crucial for them. This approach make them selves more confident and felt that they are respected.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You present a clear position that children should be encouraged to believe in their abilities, while also recognising that pressure can be harmful. The examples of Celine Dion and Knut Hamsun support the benefits of persistence, and the reference to children affected by war helps address the disadvantage. However, the advantages receive much fuller development than the disadvantages, which are mainly described in terms of stress and difficult circumstances. Explain more directly how an unrealistic message might lead to self-blame or disappointment when effort cannot overcome every barrier. The conclusion also repeats the positive message rather than weighing both sides. Developing this balance and making the links between examples and the question more explicit would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on potential benefits, a contrasting paragraph on pressure, and a conclusion. The shift signalled by “On the other hand” is clear, and the examples are grouped together in the first main paragraph. Some connections, however, are mechanical or unclear. For instance, “Both mentioned figure lived different times and centuries but situation is clear and one” does not clearly explain the shared lesson, and “this family” is an uncertain reference. The first body paragraph also contains several ideas and examples without enough signposting. Use clearer topic sentences and link each example explicitly to the advantage being discussed; ensure pronouns and transitions make relationships between ideas easy to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “sensitive mind,” “resilient,” “competitive,” and “crucial,” and you use examples that allow some topic-specific expression. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “belive,” “opposite,” “influencial,” and “willingnes” are examples. Several phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “strong back from their family,” “less resilient of manage stress,” and “huge person.” These issues limit the clarity and flexibility of your vocabulary. Build a reliable set of collocations for discussing encouragement, pressure, and opportunity, and check spelling carefully. More precise phrases such as “family support” and “achieve recognition” would make your meaning clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, more complex sentences, including conditional ideas such as “if children want to achieve something they will do it.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors occur across the response. Examples include “she raised poor family,” “if we pressure children … we maybe made a mistake,” and “it is impossible children to be competitive,” where articles, verb forms, or sentence patterns need correction. There are also agreement and punctuation problems, such as “Both mentioned figure lived” and missing spaces after full stops. Practise accurate conditional forms and sentence patterns for describing circumstances and consequences. Editing for articles, agreement, and punctuation would improve control while preserving your attempts at complex sentences.

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