Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In a few ethnicities, the young generation is often taught that anything can be achieved if they strive hard enough for it. The advantage being that at a very young age children can learn the fact that hard work is vital to gain anything in life, and the disadvantage could be that younger generation might get hurt in the process.

The benefit of a child learning the fact that they must strive hard enough to gain anything, their brain will be trained from the get-go that the food is not going to be served on the platter just like that they must work for it. The other reason is that they will not easily give up on anything, as goals require hard work, consistency and patience, which they will learn from their guardian that consistency is something that will lead them to their goals. An Indian tennis player named P.V. Sindhu said in her interview that her mother since childhood pushed her towards her dreams by teaching the fact that if she will strive good enough she can achieve great heights, result being she achieved a gold medal for the nation in world games.

The detrimental side can be that if a child is taught from a very young age that just by striving enough he or she can achieve anything, then they might never be satisfied with the result, and they might get stuck in a loop. Another reason can be that the constant pressure might lead to stress at a young age. A case study in the UK states that a young kid who was taught the same thing by his parents always aimed to be the first in class, and the constant pressure resulted in him being diagnosed with ADHD at such a young age.

In a few cultures, kids are told that they can gain anything if they strive hard enough for it. There are a few merits and demerits of teaching this message to the kids.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give relevant reasons: hard work may build persistence, while the message may create pressure and dissatisfaction. The example of P. V. Sindhu supports the benefit, and the school-pressure example illustrates a possible disadvantage. However, some points are not fully explained. For instance, the claim that children may “never be satisfied with the result” needs a clearer link to being told effort can achieve anything. The ADHD example is also presented as evidence without explaining how the message caused the outcome, so it is not fully convincing. The conclusion repeats the topic rather than summarising your main judgement about the advantages and disadvantages. Develop each point with clearer explanation and use cautious, well-supported examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a concluding paragraph. This makes the overall arrangement easy to follow. Within paragraphs, however, progression is sometimes mechanical: “The other reason” and “Another reason” introduce points without showing how they relate to the previous idea. The opening sentence of the benefits paragraph is also grammatically incomplete, which interrupts the flow. In the conclusion, repeating the introduction does not bring the discussion together. Use clearer links between claims and explanations, and make the final paragraph synthesise the main points. More precise referencing would also help readers follow who is being discussed in the examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “consistency,” “detrimental,” “constant pressure,” and “achieve great heights.” These choices help communicate both positive and negative effects. There are also attempts at less common or idiomatic expressions, but some are inaccurate or too informal for an academic essay. “In a few ethnicities” is not a natural way to refer to cultural groups, and “food is not going to be served on the platter” is an awkward idiom. “Strive good enough” is also an imprecise collocation. Aim for more natural academic phrasing and avoid expressions whose meaning may distract from your argument. Your meaning remains generally clear despite these word-choice issues.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if a child is taught… then they might…” and a relative clause in “a young kid who was taught the same thing.” Meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors remain. The opening of the benefits paragraph, “The benefit of a child learning… their brain will be trained,” is a sentence fragment because the opening phrase is not connected correctly to the main clause. In “if she will strive,” the future form is not appropriate in this conditional; use “if she strives.” There are also agreement and article issues, such as “the younger generation might get hurt” after a plural reference. Review sentence boundaries and conditional forms while continuing to vary your structures.

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