Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, it has been observed that it is quite common in few cultures to tell children that anything can be achieved through hard work. While this advice shows some benifits by motivating the children, on the other hand, this kind of mindset might undermine the child's confidence in case of any failure. In this essay, the following paragraphs will discuss the both point of views briefly.

On the one hand, a child has to get motivated from their surroundings. When someone encourages a child to be industrious, it often helps them to concure something unexpected. For example, students who are always trained to study regularly in their home and trained to complete all the home works even if those feel tough, usually end up getting a good result. Therefore, sometimes, motivating children by the statement: 'anything can be achieved if it has been tried hard enough' can do wonders.

On the other hand, failure is also a part of life. Even if someone tries hard enough, often luck doesn't favor to get something desired. During such situation, when a person is going through an unexpected outcome, saying them that enough hard work could ensure them to outperform can be detrimental for their confidence. For instance, if a student hasn't received the expected score in their exams eventhough they studied passionately, it is very natural to feel down and during such moment any kind of advice can make them feel that they are not capable enough to get succeed. Thus, the advice can help to pursue the goal to some extent but children should be motivated to accept the failure as well.

To conclude, telling children that they can achieve anything by trying hard enough has definetely some merits but sometime this message can be harmful for their mental health as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a clear overall position: encouragement can motivate children, but the message may harm confidence when effort does not bring the desired result. The examples about regular study and an unexpectedly low exam score are relevant. The discussion of motivation is reasonably illustrated, while the disadvantage is explained more fully through the possible effect on a child’s self-belief. To develop the response further, explain more precisely why the claim that children can achieve “anything” may be unrealistic—for example, because outcomes also depend on circumstances or ability—and distinguish this from the value of encouraging effort. This would make the evaluation of both sides more balanced and fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear, effective structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sides, and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” make the contrast easy to follow, while “For example” and “Thus” help connect claims to support. The progression within each body paragraph is generally logical. Some linking is a little formulaic, particularly the repeated use of explicit signposts, and the introduction’s promise to discuss “both point of views briefly” is not especially natural. You could make cohesion more flexible by linking ideas through reference and cause-and-effect, rather than relying mainly on set phrases. Overall, the organisation is clear and the reader can follow the argument throughout.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range to discuss the topic, including “industrious,” “detrimental,” “confidence,” and “unexpected outcome.” These choices help express the central ideas, and meaning remains clear. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “concure something unexpected,” “luck doesn’t favor to get something desired,” and “trained to complete all the home works.” There are also spelling errors, including “benifits,” “definetely,” and “eventhough.” These slips limit precision even when the intended meaning can be inferred. Aim to use familiar vocabulary accurately and check spelling; then build range with natural phrases such as “achieve a goal,” “face a setback,” and “maintain self-confidence.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including conditional and concessive structures: “Even if someone tries hard enough…” and “if a student hasn’t received the expected score…”. These allow you to express contrast and hypothetical situations, and most errors do not prevent understanding. Some grammatical patterns are not controlled consistently. For example, “saying them that” needs a different construction, and “during such situation” requires an article or plural form. In “they are not capable enough to get succeed,” the verb pattern is incorrect; use “capable of succeeding” or “able to succeed.” Review articles, verb patterns, and sentence phrasing, while continuing to use complex sentences. Greater accuracy across these structures would strengthen the response.

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