Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Children are the backbone of a country. They learn a lot from their home and then from their environment. However, if they struggled and worked hard then they can achieve their desired goal and perform well in life. l strongly believe that its benefits are far greater overall because from childhood they listen about hard-work.

To begin with the idea, Hardworking, punctuality and success are closely related to each other and motivation is also important for development of morale. If parents develop ideas in their minds and motivate them then success is compulsory. Children have a straight path and they spend all of their efforts in achieving the goal. For example, the son of a doctor family has an aim to become a good doctor neither a teacher nor a pilot and he devotes all his capabilities in a goal that maintains their parents for him. As a result, parents do not learn them and leave them free they become ambitious-less and keep away from the hardness of the world.

On the other hand, if parents teach them and they cannot achieve the desired goal they become mentally sick. Moreover, sometimes they become shame-less and do nothing in life. For instance, I know a man, his parents blame him all the time and he tried to do but fail, now he is doing nothing and playing games and wasting his precious time.

In conclusion, motivation and goals are important for life and hardworking is key to success, so we should maintain it. And if children cannot achieve the task and not struggle then its drawbacks are more severe.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the benefits and drawbacks of telling children that effort can lead to success, and your position is that the benefits are greater. The discussion of motivation and having a goal is relevant, while the example of a young person who gives up after repeated blame illustrates a possible negative effect. However, the response only partially answers the question because it often shifts from the specific message about trying hard to general claims about hard work, ambition, and parental guidance. The disadvantages are also narrowly explained, and the doctor-family example is unclear as support. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how this message can build resilience, and how it may create unrealistic expectations or self-blame when effort does not bring success.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph presenting benefits, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help signal the main stages. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because ideas are joined without clear explanation. For example, the doctor-family example moves from a child’s career aim to a claim about parents leaving children free, without showing how these points connect. Some linking is also mechanical, and the conclusion introduces the unclear idea that children “cannot achieve the task and not struggle.” Use topic sentences that directly state each advantage or disadvantage, then explain and illustrate it in a clear sequence. Make references such as “it” and “they” unambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “motivation,” “ambitious,” “achieving the goal,” and “precious time,” which helps communicate the general topic. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations are unnatural or unclear, sometimes making the intended meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “motivation is also important for development of morale,” “success is compulsory,” and “maintains their parents for him.” “Ambitious-less” and “shame-less” are also not appropriate forms in these contexts. Aim for precise, natural collocations rather than adding complex-sounding expressions. For instance, describe children as “setting goals” or “feeling pressured,” and explain that effort can “improve their chances” rather than guaranteeing success.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if parents teach them and they cannot achieve the desired goal…” and a relative clause in “a goal that maintains their parents for him.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors can make relationships between ideas hard to follow. Examples include “if they struggled and worked hard then they can achieve,” where the verb forms do not match, and “As a result, parents do not learn them and leave them free they become…,” which joins clauses without correct punctuation. There are also errors in articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “for development of morale” and “hardworking is key to success.” Practise building accurate sentences with one clear main clause before adding subordinate clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.