Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In some cultures, parent tell their children that they can achieve if they try hard enough. This message can effect negative and positive in children life. In my opinion it is good engoured for children if they can try hrad and on many thing.

There are several advantage of children. Parents and teacher give a tough work for children. And firstly children can increase thier confindence and motivate and try to hard work and they are success over goal. For example teacher give touch lesson and children try hard effort and success and become a doctor, engineer and scientist. Teacher give advice and help children on goal. Childern motivate and more focus own goal and achivement. I think children can try hard and they success in every goals.

On the other hand ther are also disadvantage of children. Sometime children believe that they can hard enough to achieve, and success on thier goal. There are several reason some children are poor family and they cannot affort and not success over goals. For example children a poor children work hard and they can also face the difficulities because lack of money. Morever they can fail over goal and they depressed and stress and they can sucess our goals. Children face altos of difficulities and shame our lifes.

In my opinion some children try hard and they can success our goal and also have a disadvantage some children try hard and face both of difficult because lack of money.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages, and your position is that the message can encourage children but may also create difficulties. The confidence and motivation point is relevant, as is the example of children from poor families facing financial barriers. However, the ideas are only minimally developed: the examples of becoming a doctor, engineer or scientist do not explain how effort leads to these outcomes, and the disadvantage is repeated rather than explored. The final paragraph mostly restates earlier points instead of drawing them together. The response is also three words below the required minimum. To strengthen the response, explain both the benefits and risks more fully, and clarify that effort matters but cannot guarantee success when circumstances are limiting.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph beginning “On the other hand” about disadvantages, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the two sides of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven, and several ideas are joined mechanically with “And firstly,” “For example,” and repeated uses of “and.” The conclusion repeats the same contrast without adding a clear final judgement. Some references are also difficult to follow, such as “they can success our goals,” which makes it unclear whose goals are meant. Use clearer topic sentences, connect each example directly to its point, and avoid repeating the same claim so the argument develops more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic but includes relevant terms such as “confidence,” “motivate,” “goal,” “poor family,” and “lack of money,” so the main topic is generally identifiable. However, the range is repetitive, especially in the repeated use of “try hard,” “success,” and “goal,” and several word choices or forms make meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “effect negative and positive,” “tough work,” and “shame our lifes.” Spelling errors such as “confindence,” “difficulities,” and “Morever” also reduce clarity. Build a more precise set of expressions for effort, achievement, and setbacks, and check spelling and collocations. This would help you express the relevant ideas with less strain on the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to communicate a sequence of ideas using simple sentences and some longer structures, including “There are several reason some children are poor family and they cannot affort.” However, the range is very limited, and frequent errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, and verb forms sometimes distort meaning. For example, “parent tell their children” lacks agreement and an article, while “they can success” uses the wrong verb form; “children can increase thier confindence and motivate” also has unclear grammatical relationships between the actions. Many sentences are fragments or run together, as in “And firstly children can increase…” Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences, then join related ideas with correctly formed clauses and review agreement and verb patterns.

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