Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

There are different concepts regarding children's freedom of choice, In some cultures children can oepenely acquire everything if they try hard enough. There are benefits outweigh drawabacks of chilren choices and freedom, in this essay i will explore both aspects.

On one hand, there various cultures throughout the world where yougster can choos their goals related to their future. Such as in many traditions parents and system does not force their personal decision on their generations because they consider that, their basic and esential human right. For instance, in the United States of America schools provide diverse ways of career and children's select their career according to their individual interest. Additionally, this is highly recommended for children acheivement in their practical lives because they work hard for their ambitions and succees in certian fields particularly they passionate about, and the guradians and sytem must provide an opportunity, at every level of age to select their own interest.

On the other hand, in many countries children facing a number of issues after their slection of their pathways because they choose their fields indpendently without specific information and knowledge of profession and career, therefore they go through a lot of struggle to acieve their or make a successful career in their choice. Furthermore, without clear guidance can face a huge peroblems in real life. For example, in pakistani culture the majority of the people want to become Doctor's, engineer's, and parents force their children to enroll in these departament although they complete their studies but after all they changed their professions, like many of them or joining civil services.

In conclusion, children must have freedom of choice but alongwith full briefing because they will face a number of problem later entering to their work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and give a relevant concluding view: children should have freedom, but also guidance. The examples about choosing careers in the United States and pressure to enter particular professions in Pakistan help connect the discussion to real situations. However, the response only partly answers the precise question about telling children they can achieve anything through hard work. Much of the first body paragraph shifts to freedom of choice, and the benefits of the message itself—such as motivation or confidence—are not clearly explained. The disadvantages are also mainly about choosing a career without information, rather than the possible effects of unrealistic expectations. Develop each side directly around the message and explain its consequences more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sides, and a conclusion. “On one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the intended organisation clear. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from cultural freedom to school choices and then to parental support without clearly linking these points to the task’s message. Some connections are also awkward or unclear, such as “because they choose their fields independently… therefore they go through a lot of struggle.” Use topic sentences that state one main advantage or disadvantage, then explain and illustrate it in a logical sequence. Clearer links between sentences would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “individual interest,” “ambitions,” “guidance,” and “career,” and you use some topic-specific examples. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices, collocations, and spelling errors make parts of the argument difficult to understand. For example, “acquire everything” does not naturally express achieving goals, while “full briefing” is not an appropriate phrase for the guidance children need. Errors such as “oepenely,” “drawabacks,” and “acheivement” also reduce clarity. Build a more precise set of expressions for motivation, expectations, and support, and check spelling and word forms carefully. This would help you express your ideas more naturally and accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “although,” and “therefore.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence formation and agreement sometimes make the meaning hard to follow. For example, “There are benefits outweigh drawabacks” lacks a grammatical link between its clauses, and “children facing a number of issues” needs a finite verb such as “face.” There are also problems with articles, plurals, and punctuation, as in “a huge peroblems” and the comma splice in “Such as in many traditions parents…”. Practise building complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and check agreement and punctuation before submitting.

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