Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In most of the cultures children are tought to try harder always, and it is a common lesson across the cultures. But it has both some advantages and disadvantages.

This mindset and lesson to try hard enough in order to achive something gives children an optimistic view. The perspective of giving the best in-order to achive something actually make them mentally prepared and strong. It makes them mentally strong to push hard enough. And it makes them hardworking and gives them the motivation to keep trying. By this they know that they can achive their desired destination if they try hard enough, so they dont become lazy and tend to give their best. This motivation works as a reason for them to keep doing the hard work. For example, if children know that they will get gift, they tends to do a work more attentively.

On the other side there is some disadvantages too. Which is this moto shapes their mindset to highly competitative when they grow up. In real life there are other factors for success besides hardwork. Surely the key fact is hardwork, no doubt about it. But luck, strategy many other things are affliated with hardwork. So when they fail, they tends to get depressed, as they grew the mindset that hardwork always leads to achievement. So from this mindset they get depressed easily. Also, Sometimes it has observed that they are becoming over competitive and loosing the joy of diong something. They start to think that, if they do not achieve something, this is their problem and capability issue, or they simply did not work hard enough. So which might lead to depression in later stage of life.

Therefore, It is a true persepective that hardwork is essential, no doubt about that. But also, besides those children should be tought how to learn acceptance too.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a clear overall view: effort can motivate children, but they also need to learn acceptance. The benefits are supported with relevant points about persistence and motivation, while the drawbacks include unrealistic expectations, competitiveness, and possible depression when effort does not bring success. However, some ideas are more fully explained than others. The example about children receiving a gift is not clearly connected to the broader claim about achieving anything through hard work, and the disadvantages repeat the risk of depression without fully explaining how children could be taught to respond to setbacks. Develop each point with a more precise example and explain the limits of effort alongside other influences on success.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a concluding recommendation. The contrast between the two sides is easy to follow, and phrases such as “On the other side” and “Therefore” signal the direction of the argument. However, some links feel mechanical or unclear. The sentence beginning “Which is this moto…” is a fragment, and “So from this mindset” does not clearly identify the idea it refers to. Repeated references to becoming depressed also slow progression. Use complete topic sentences, vary linking methods, and make pronouns and references explicit so each paragraph develops its point without repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary to discuss motivation and outcomes, including “optimistic view,” “hardworking,” “competitive,” and “acceptance.” These choices make the main ideas understandable, and you attempt some topic-specific language. However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural combinations reduce accuracy, including “tought,” “achive,” “affliated with hardwork,” and “loosing the joy.” The repeated use of “hardwork,” “mentally strong,” and “depressed” also limits variety. Choose more precise collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, distinguish “hard work” as a noun phrase from “work hard” as a verb phrase. More varied terms for persistence, setbacks, and achievement would make the discussion clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if they try hard enough” and clauses explaining consequences. The overall meaning is generally clear, but some errors in agreement, verb forms, sentence boundaries, and punctuation remain. For example, “they tends to do a work” has a subject–verb agreement error and an unnecessary article, while “Which is this moto shapes…” is not a complete sentence. In “this perspective … actually make them,” the singular subject requires a singular verb. Commas also interrupt clauses in places, such as “they start to think that, if…”. Review agreement and clause construction, and proofread punctuation while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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