Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Children are sometimes told that they can accomplish anything if they endeavor adequately in some cultures. Even it it beneficial in which ways it can motivate youngsters to be more diligent and teach them to be more persistent towards their goals, it might lead to blindly chasing after something impossible to achieve and more self-doubting if they could achieve.

The moral of teaching children that they can achieve anything with sufficient amount of work and dedication motivates them. When the dream, the goal seems achievable, children tend to be hard-working as it is assumed as their only key to making that dream come true. Thus, they will be more passionate about it. Moreover, they will be more resilient and persistend once they are told so. The exhaustion, the obstacles and challenges will not be considered as a factor to stop them form their goal any longer when their vision is to overcome those problems by grinding until they are satisfied. For example, the student who failed their math test might spend more time practising to get higher marks on the next exams.

On the other hand, there is some disadvantages. Even being persistent is good, what will be more crucial is which direction

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify a relevant advantage—encouraging children to work hard and persist—and support it with the example of a student practising after a failed maths test. You also begin to address a disadvantage, suggesting that persistence may lead children to pursue something impossible. However, the response addresses the task only partially: the disadvantage is not explained or supported, and the final sentence stops at “which direction,” leaving the discussion unfinished. The opening gives a general position, but the ideas are not developed enough to show clearly when this message helps or harms children. The response also does not meet the required minimum length. To strengthen the answer, complete both sides of the discussion, explain the consequences of unrealistic expectations, and add a clear concluding judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the opening introduces both sides, the next paragraph develops an advantage, and “On the other hand” signals a shift to disadvantages. The example about improving a maths result also gives the first main point some progression. However, the overall development is incomplete because the disadvantage paragraph ends mid-sentence, so the reader cannot follow the argument to a conclusion. Some linking is mechanical or awkward, as in “Moreover” and “Thus,” while the opening’s long sentence combines several ideas without clear boundaries. Use one focused paragraph for each side, connect each explanation directly to its example, and finish with a brief conclusion. Clearer sentence boundaries and more precise referencing would make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary related to effort and ambition, including “persistent,” “resilient,” “obstacles,” and “dedication.” These choices help communicate the central idea, and the meaning is generally understandable. There are, however, noticeable problems with word choice, collocation, word form, and spelling. “Endeavor adequately” is unnatural in this context, “the moral of teaching” does not express the intended meaning clearly, and “persistend” and “form” are misspelled. Phrases such as “grinding until they are satisfied” are informal for an academic essay. Aim for more natural combinations and a consistent formal register; for example, describe children as “working diligently” and “persevering towards their goals.” Proofreading would also help remove avoidable spelling errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “When the dream, the goal seems achievable” and a relative clause in “the student who failed their math test.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors sometimes make the intended relationships difficult to follow. The opening construction beginning “Even it it beneficial” is incomplete and contains a repeated word, while “there is some disadvantages” has an agreement error. The final sentence is also unfinished, so its grammatical structure cannot be completed. Work on forming complete clauses, checking subject–verb agreement and articles, and using punctuation to separate ideas. Practising accurate versions of your longer sentences before adding further complexity will improve clarity.

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