Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many cultures, childen are encourged by telling that they can achieve anything if they put their efforts extensively. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this encourgement and provide a reasoned conclusion.

The main advantages of telling children that they hard efforts wil surely give them the desire result is that, this way they will feel motivated. And this will also help them to pursue their goals by giving their best. For instance when i was in my university year, there was a course that i could not understand properly. Eventually i was losing my motivation and desire to study that course. Then my mom told me that i was not trying enough, also i should find different approach for understanding the course content. After that i tried working hard by going through different materials, lecture videos from different content creator in the online platform. Which helped me to to make customized techniques for learning the course contents. Therefore, if i hadn't tried enough i couldn't got the desire result. Moreover, children will not fall

Despite these advantages it has some disadvatages also, because not all people can achieve all the goals in life. Every individual in this world has some limitation. No one is perfect. So, giving their atmost effort if they can't achieve their goal it will eventually lead them into depression. They will doubt themselves in the future when they will have to put efforts. It can also happen that they will not set goals by thinking they are not good enough for achieving anything. For example someone is not good at science, even after trying they can't understand the scientific things. So they think them as failure as a student whereas it can happen that they didn't tried to explore other bcakgrounds that will suit them. Thus, this can give negative effects on children.

In conclusion, while encourging children will help them to work hard and feel motivate, it also can put them into negative effect if they can't achieve their goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: effort can motivate children, but unrealistic expectations may harm their confidence. The university-course example supports the benefit with a specific account of trying different learning methods. The disadvantage paragraph also explains how repeated failure could lead to self-doubt, and the science example illustrates this. However, some points are less fully developed: the claim that children may become depressed is asserted rather than explained, and the sentence beginning “Moreover, children will not fall” is unfinished, leaving an additional point unclear. To strengthen the response, explain the limits of effort more precisely—for example, how ability, resources, or circumstances affect outcomes—and complete each supporting idea.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression from motivation to possible disappointment is generally easy to follow, and signposts such as “Despite these advantages” and “In conclusion” help identify the stages of the argument. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, particularly through repeated “also,” “So,” and “Thus.” Some references are unclear, and the unfinished sentence “Moreover, children will not fall” interrupts the first body paragraph and weakens its progression. The personal example also takes up considerable space before the argument returns to the general point. Use clearer links between each example and its claim, and ensure every paragraph develops a complete sequence of ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss motivation, effort, goals, and limitations, including phrases such as “pursue their goals,” “different approach,” and “negative effects.” Some attempts at more specific language, such as “customized techniques,” show an effort to express detailed ideas. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the writing less natural: “encourgement,” “atmost effort,” and “desire result” are examples. Several phrases are also imprecise or awkward, including “hard efforts” and “scientific things.” Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling carefully. A more precise vocabulary range would help you explain the distinction between persistence and the belief that effort guarantees success.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if they can’t achieve their goals” and a relative clause in “a course that I could not understand properly.” These choices allow you to express causes and consequences. However, some grammatical errors remain, and several sentences are awkwardly constructed or incomplete. For example, “if I hadn't tried enough I couldn't got” has an incorrect verb form, while “when I was in my university year” does not form the time expression accurately. The sentence beginning “For instance” also needs clearer punctuation and sentence boundaries. Review past-tense forms, conditional patterns, and clause construction, then proofread to ensure each sentence is complete and its relationships are clear.

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