Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is undeniable that, parents and teachers use various motivating statements to boost child's moral. In this regard, it was supposed that children are often told that they can get anything by doing enough hardwork. This essay will outline not only advantages and disadvantages but also my opinion with the favor of notion in forthcoming fragment with a logical conclusion.

To commence with, there are numerous advantages of taughting children that they can get anything if they try hard enough. The prime one is that, this motivates them to do hardwork to acheive their goals. For example, teacher suggests children who are weak in their specifice subjects that they need to do hardwork such as written practice, solving questions and extra homework to improve themselves. Secondly, It boost their morals and create positivity that nothing is impossible. Interestingly, even physhologists prove that children who prefer hardwork becomes more intellectual. Lastly, this helps them to understand the reality and importance of goals and hard-work.

On the other hand, there are also multifarious demerits such as selfishness. Child may start behaving selfish that they can acheive anything. Apart from this, they forgets the importance of smart-work. For example, when student have a exam after some days but the syllbus was vast. Learning whole syllabus will be hardwork and it concludes alot of time then smart work can play greater role because it includes only important point and other tips and tricks. The biggest disadvange is that some goals are irrelevent so a person cannot acheive every single goal however child waste alot of time in doinghardwork of useless goal.

In conclusion, although their are several disadvanges such as selfishness, irrelvent goals, etc but the advantages are far more such as postivity, motivation. Every child should be motivated to prefer working hart to get something.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and make your position clear in the conclusion: you consider the benefits of motivation and positivity greater than the drawbacks. Relevant support includes the example of extra practice helping a child improve in a subject, and the contrast between hard work and smart work when an exam syllabus is extensive. However, some points are asserted rather than explained. For instance, the claim that hard work can lead to selfishness is not clearly connected to the message children receive, and the reference to psychologists is unsupported. The discussion of unrealistic or unsuitable goals is relevant but could explain more precisely how children might be affected. Develop these less clear ideas and link each example directly to the question for a fuller response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To commence with,” “Secondly,” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the main direction, and the examples generally appear beside the points they support. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and also shows some stronger control through paragraphing and progression. However, several links feel mechanical, and some connections between claims are unclear—for example, the move from the message of hard work to “selfishness.” The introduction’s promise to discuss “my opinion” is not fulfilled until the conclusion. Use more natural transitions and make the relationship between each claim and its explanation explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “motivating,” “positivity,” “smart-work,” and “syllabus,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “multifarious demerits,” although this sounds unnatural in context. The range is not yet consistently precise: “boost child's moral” does not express the intended idea naturally, and “selfishness” is an unclear label for a possible disadvantage. Spelling and word-form errors, including “acheive,” “irrelevent,” and “disadvange,” are noticeable and reduce accuracy. Aim for common, natural collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully; precise vocabulary will make your arguments clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrastive structure in “although there are several disadvantages … the advantages are far more.” Most sentences communicate the main idea, but errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction occur across the response. Examples include “It boost their morals,” “Child may start behaving selfish,” and “they forgets,” where the subject and verb or sentence pattern do not agree. The opening sentence also has an unnecessary comma after “undeniable,” while “when student have a exam” shows problems with articles and agreement. These errors sometimes make the reader pause, even though the overall meaning remains recoverable. Practise accurate basic clauses first, then build complex sentences with controlled subordinate clauses.

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