Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's modern world parents tell their children to achieve anything in their life if they work to hard. It had gained significant attention due to it growing influence on society. Although it offers several advantages. It also have some drawbacks.

This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this approach.

There are several advantages of the topic. First and foremost is that it helps to build self confidence and encourage them to believe in their abilities. As a result they become more motivated in their life to achieve their goals. Secondly, this message teaches children the importance of determination and preseverance. For example if student fails in examination, they may improve their weaker section and score much better in their future. Therefore, this positive attitude can help children to make him successful and self-dependent.

On the other hand, telling children that they can achieve anything if they will work hard can also has some drawbacks. Firstly, it may create unrealistic expectations that never achievable until a person have a particular skill regarding this.As a result, children may feel dissapointed and get depressed. Secondly, this message can put unnecessary stress on him that they can achieve anything by applying good efforts.For example, if students who prepares for his exams and get poor results may loose interest and feel depressed. Therefore parents should guide children that success depends on opportunities, abilities and circumstances.

To conclude that telling children they may achieve anything if they work hard for it has both positive and negative effects. Although it builds self-condident, motivation and gaining new skills , its dissadvantges cannot be ignored like unnecessarily stress, unrealistic expectations and work in wrong direction to achieve it.In my opinion, make acchievable goals and apply thie best to achieve it.Therefore it is important to use or manae it wisely to maximize its benefits and minimize its drawbacks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a relevant overall position: the message can build confidence and perseverance, but may also create unrealistic expectations and stress. The examples about improving after an examination and feeling discouraged by poor results help make these points relevant. This meets the task well, though some ideas are more fully explained than others. For instance, the benefits of motivation and self-dependence are asserted rather than clearly linked to how the message produces them, while the drawbacks receive a clearer explanation. The conclusion restates the main points but introduces “work in wrong direction” without developing it. To strengthen the response further, explain each main idea with a specific consequence and make the final recommendation more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “On the other hand” help readers identify the argument’s direction. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical because several points rely on the same listing pattern and “Therefore” is used repeatedly. Some references are also unclear: “him” shifts from the plural “children,” and “this” in “the topic” does not identify the message precisely. The opening fragment, “Although it offers several advantages,” interrupts the introduction’s flow. Use fewer formulaic transitions, connect examples directly to the claims they support, and check that pronouns clearly refer to their intended nouns.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss the topic, including relevant terms such as “self confidence,” “determination,” “unrealistic expectations,” and “opportunities.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and there are attempts at more specific language. However, word choice, collocation, and spelling are noticeably inconsistent: “work to hard,” “weaker section,” “make him successful,” and “work in wrong direction” are awkward or unclear in context. Misspellings such as “preseverance,” “dissapointed,” and “dissadvantges” also reduce accuracy. Some expressions are repeated, particularly “achieve anything” and “feel depressed.” Build precision by learning common collocations for success and effort, and proofread spelling and word forms; this will make your meaning clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional and cause-and-effect structures, and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, complex constructions are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “It also have some drawbacks,” “can also has,” and “if they will work hard”; these require more accurate agreement and verb patterns. The sentence beginning “For example, if students who prepares…” is structurally incomplete and shifts between plural and singular forms. The opening “Although it offers several advantages” is also a fragment. Practise building complete sentences with one clear subject and verb, then check agreement and conditional forms. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied structures easier to follow.

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