Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Telling children that hardwork is the key to success from a young age may be advantageous for them and help them work harder in life. However, giving this message may also result in some negative outcomes.

Motivation is crucial for children to work harder. Telling kids that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough encourages them to push themselves harder inorder to reach their goals. Passing along this message convinces them that if they dedicate enough hours towards something and try their best then they will be able to achieve anything. For instance, kids in secondary school dedicate countless hours to studying inorder to achieve high grades and in most cases they succeed.

However, hardwork might not help you achieve everything in life. There are things that cannot be achieved just by working hard enough, for example, jobs. In a job interview it will not matter how hard you can work as an employee but if you have the necessary skills to get the job. In those cases, children may become unmotivated as the message they had been taught did not apply to this situation. That might anger them or result in them no longer being motivated enough to work hard.

There may also be instances where a child fails even after trying their best. In those scenarios, this advice may upset the child and they might think that their best is not enough. For example, a child may fail a class even after staying up all night studying for the exam.

In conclusion, we should give children the message that it is possible to achieve anything through hardwork but also remember that this might not always be the case. Instead, we should pair this message with the advice that sometimes we may try really hard and still fail and that's okay.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and maintains a clear overall position: the message can motivate children, but should be balanced with the recognition that effort does not guarantee success. The school-study example supports the benefit, while the job-interview and exam examples illustrate limitations. This meets the core task, but the discussion is unevenly developed. The advantage is explained mainly through one general example, and the job-interview point would be clearer if it distinguished effort from qualifications or relevant skills. The final disadvantage—that children may feel their best is not enough—is relevant but could be explored further. More precise explanation of these consequences and how adults should frame the message would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear, logical structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the benefit and disadvantages, and a conclusion that returns to the central argument. Progression is easy to follow, and signposts such as “However,” “There may also be instances,” and “In conclusion” help readers track the shift between ideas. The examples are generally placed where they support the relevant point. Some linking is a little repetitive or mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “For example” and the recurring references to “this message.” To improve, vary transitions and use more precise referencing so each pronoun or phrase clearly identifies the idea being discussed. Overall, organisation is strong, with some room for more flexible cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the argument, with relevant terms such as “motivation,” “dedicate,” “unmotivated,” and “necessary skills.” However, the range is limited by repeated everyday wording, especially “hardwork,” “work harder,” “achieve,” and “message.” Some collocations and choices are imprecise: “dedicate enough hours towards something” is less natural than “devote enough time to something,” and “jobs” is too broad in the interview example. Spelling and word-form presentation also need attention: “hardwork” should be written as “hard work,” and “inorder” as “in order.” These issues do not prevent understanding, but more precise, varied vocabulary and accurate spelling would make the argument more fluent and appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “even after trying their best” and conditional phrasing in “if they dedicate enough hours … then they will be able to achieve anything.” Most sentences are understandable, and errors rarely obstruct the meaning. Some constructions are awkward or insufficiently controlled, however. In “it will not matter how hard you can work as an employee but if you have the necessary skills,” the contrast is grammatically unclear; a clearer structure would be “what matters is whether you have the necessary skills, not simply how hard you can work.” The sentence beginning “There are things that cannot be achieved…” also shifts from children to the general “you.” Review parallel structure, pronoun consistency, and punctuation to improve accuracy while retaining varied sentence patterns.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.