Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In various culture, children are often advised that if they work hard enough then they can achieve anything. The advantages of such advice is that children often get motivated to do better in life. Meanwhile, the drawbacks of such opinions are that it can put pressure on children's mind and even doubt themselves on their ability to achieve something.

On the one hand, the primary advantage of telling children that they can achieve anything if they work hard enough is that it motivates them to get better academic results by trying hard. Students work hard on their academics and often give up the hope when the results stop improving. An elderly advice of trying hard enough can motivate them to improve their outcomes. Many children, for instance, are proven to have better outcomes in their examinations after being consulted to work hard. As a result, it can have a positive impact of a children's life.On

On the other hand, the major disadvantage of suggesting a children to try hard enough so that he can achieve anything is that it can pressurize children from a young age. In some cultures, elderly people tend to constantly nag the younger ones in every subject, which induces a negative impact on children's mind. Some children will constantly compare and doubt themselves after being told that they are not trying hard enough to achieve something. For example, In some backward cultures, children feel constant pressure from an early age, which sometimes even ruins their future as well. This leads to mental pressure and comparison in their adult life.

In conclusion, although telling children to try hard in order to achieve anything can motivate them to do better in life, in some cultures, it can lead to children feeling pressurized and doubting their efforts.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a clear overall position: the message can motivate children, but it can also create pressure and self-doubt. The academic-motivation point is relevant, and the example about examination results helps illustrate it. However, some support is broad or unclear: “Many children… are proven to have better outcomes” is asserted without explanation, while the disadvantage is developed mainly through pressure and comparison. Explain more precisely how the message affects children—for example, distinguish encouraging effort from implying that effort guarantees success—and develop the consequences with a specific, plausible example. This would make the discussion of both sides more balanced and fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sides, and a conclusion that restates the central contrast. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” guide the reader effectively, and the main ideas generally progress in a logical order. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, with repeated references to “children” and “trying hard enough,” and some links between claims are not fully clear. The phrase “As a result” introduces a broad conclusion rather than showing exactly how the preceding example supports it. There is also an accidental “On” after “life,” which interrupts the paragraph transition. Use more precise referencing and vary linking methods to make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss motivation and emotional effects, including “academic results,” “constant pressure,” and “doubt themselves.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “negative impact” and “compare.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, which limits precision: “elderly advice” does not naturally mean advice from older people, “pressurize children” is less suitable here than a phrase describing the pressure they experience, and “children’s mind” is not idiomatic in this context. “Backward cultures” is also an inappropriate and overly judgmental description. Choose neutral, natural wording and avoid repeating “hard” and “achieve” so often; this will make your vocabulary more accurate and appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including conditional wording (“if they work hard enough”) and a concession in the conclusion (“although…”). Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “The advantages… is” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “a children” uses an incorrect article and plural form. In “it can have a positive impact of a children’s life,” the possessive construction and preposition are faulty. The sentence “As a result… life.On” also contains a punctuation and sentence-boundary problem. Review agreement, articles, possessives, and sentence boundaries, while continuing to practise complex structures with accurate control.

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