Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This issue has sparked a debate concerning its merit and drawbacks. In many cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. I believe that to achieve your goal, we must work hard and stay claimed.

One major advantage is that hard work opens a lot of opportunities, and also we learn about many things. Everyone should set their goal and work hard to achieve their goal. Parents taught their children that without working hard, they cannot be successful in their lives. Either its about to achieve any high position, grades in school, or any kind of success. For example, a student who is not interested in their exam preparation, their parents are worried about their exams. They told their children that without preparation he will never pass their exam and also motive by telling some successful students stories. Child get motivated and study hard and as a result they obtianed good marks in their exasms. Therefore, it is not possibel to achieve your golas without working hard, and open many future oppurtunities.

On the other hand, a significant drawback is that children who are ambitious to achieve their goal work hard, learn about the things, study many hours and the result is health issue. we see that mostly student who pay their much attention to their golas cannot follow properdite palne. Healthy dite palne is aslo very essentail for children. Children must follow proper time tabel in daily routine, where they also take time for other activities, like playing cricket, football, and spend time with their families.Therefore, other activites also importent to refresh mind to stay more energatic and more hopeful to achieve golas.

In conclusion, I firmly agree with the idea to tell children work hard, becasue to achieve anything yo must spend your time to learn about thatand stay claimed, anything take time to happen.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question: hard work is linked to opportunities and success, while excessive effort is associated with health problems and too little time for recreation. Your conclusion also gives a clear view in favour of encouraging effort. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the advantages largely repeat that children should work hard, and the exam example is difficult to follow in places. The disadvantage would be stronger if you explained how the message itself can create unrealistic expectations or pressure, rather than focusing mainly on poor routines. Develop each point with a clearer explanation of its consequences and keep the distinction between effort and guaranteed success central to the task.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Phrases such as “On the other hand” and “Therefore” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first body paragraph moves from opportunities to parental advice and then to an exam story without smoothly connecting each step. Some linking words are repeated or used where the relationship is not precise, and references such as “they” and “their” in the example can make it hard to identify who is being discussed. Organise each paragraph around one main point, then explain and illustrate it in a clear sequence, using more precise referencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “opportunities,” “ambitious,” “health issue,” and “proper time table,” and you attempt to discuss both achievement and wellbeing. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts of the response difficult to read. Examples include “stay claimed,” “motive,” “obtianed,” and “properdite palne”; repeated use of “goal” and “work hard” also reduces flexibility. Choose common expressions accurately before attempting more advanced vocabulary, and proofread spelling carefully. More precise phrases for pressure, balance, and personal development would help you express the advantages and disadvantages with greater clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a conditional idea in “without working hard, they cannot be successful” and a result structure in the exam example. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries can make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “Parents taught their children” shifts tense, while “Child get motivated and study hard” has problems with number and verb form. The sentence beginning “For example, a student who is not interested…” is also incomplete and confusingly structured. Practise building accurate sentences with one clear main clause, then add subordinate clauses and check subject–verb agreement, tense consistency, and punctuation.

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