Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often agrued that in many culture offsprings are told to work hard to achieve something in life. It has both the merits and demerits of the above mentioned statement and it will be elaborated in upcoming paragraphs.

To begin, the significant advantage of teaching children to work hard is that it enhance their performance in every field, wheather it is sports, study or in real life issues and motivate them. This is because they will work more to achieve something in their life and become successful and boosts self confidence, also promtoes a growth of mindset. For instance, some competetive exams such as NEET and JEE require a lot of hard work. Therefore, to pass in their life they will be prepared from their childhood .

However, alongside the benefits their are drawbacks of this notion, first and foremost, if they fails to aquire anything in first go after a hardwork ther may get demotivated and loss their morale. Also, due to failures, it may lead to health issues. For example, regular failure may cause depression because they have done hard works and society does not accept them. As a result, they will blame them self and feel guilty, and trigger burnout and anxiety.

To conclude, although their are many prons of teaching studnets to work hard such as it boost morale and self confidence, it also has some cons as it may result to depression and they can become anxious when they do not achieve something after working hard.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a relevant focus on the message that effort can lead to achievement. The benefits paragraph explains that hard work may improve performance, build confidence and encourage a growth mindset; the NEET and JEE example makes this point more concrete. You also identify plausible risks, including discouragement, anxiety and depression when effort does not bring success. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the link between repeated failure and health problems needs clearer development, and the role of society is introduced without showing how it affects children. A more balanced explanation of how the message can encourage persistence while also creating unrealistic expectations would develop the response further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression from benefits to risks is easy to follow, and signposts such as “To begin,” “However,” and “To conclude” help readers navigate the argument. This coherent organisation is a strength. At times, though, linking feels formulaic, and some connections between ideas are not fully clear. In the disadvantages paragraph, the move from failure to health issues and then to society’s acceptance could be explained more explicitly. The conclusion also repeats the main points rather than drawing them together. Use referencing and transitions more naturally, and make each sentence’s relationship to the previous one clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “growth mindset,” “self confidence,” “demotivated,” “depression,” “burnout” and “anxiety.” These choices help communicate the possible effects of the message. However, spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word combinations are noticeable, for example “agrued,” “wheather,” “promtoes,” “hard works,” and “loss their morale.” Some expressions are also vague or imprecise, such as “achieve something in their life” and “pass in their life.” Aim for accurate collocations and more precise wording: describe passing an exam, achieving a goal, or experiencing a loss of confidence. Proofreading spelling and word forms would make your vocabulary more reliable and easier to read.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “if they fails to aquire anything in first go” and a cause-and-effect sentence beginning “This is because.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction sometimes make the meaning less smooth. For example, “it enhance their performance” needs subject–verb agreement, while “if they fails” and “they will blame them self” contain agreement or pronoun-form problems. The sentence beginning “As a result” also joins several effects without clear grammatical control. Practise building accurate complex sentences, especially with “if,” “because” and “although,” and check agreement and pronoun forms before submitting.

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