Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is universally acknowledged that in few societies people usually advise children that anything is achievable if they try their hardest to achieve it. There are plethora of reasons associate with this believe. Before drawing a conclusion this essay will discuss the benefits as well as drawbacks of this message has upon children.

To begin with, there are several advantages of this message one possible advantage is when someone believes that noting is impossible for a human being to achieve with enouth practice and effort, that child become more confident than others since his or hers childhood for instance, when a student believes that he can become the top scorer in the class he start working more harder as usual cause that person have in mind that anything is achieveable furthermore that's how human nature actually works. Another benefit is when children believe working hard is the possible way to achieve success,they refuse to become lazy and they try to be more productive with eventually leads them to the pathway to be more successful than others.

This view also have few disadvantages, one possible drawback is when children believe working hard is the best way tp accomplish theri goals they try their best but sometimes working hard is not enough to achieve something so when they fail to achieve their goals with hardwork they start to believe that they are not good enough which may create mental suffering as wel as depression from a young age. Secondly, there are some task that need focus more than working hard enough so when they use a different apporoach on the task that need more than hard work they fail to achieve a splendid outcome which leads them to failure.

In conclusion, i believe though there are drawbacks of this message but the advantages are far supperior than the disadvantages, so it can be assured that it's a good trend to follow and advise children that anyithing is achievable if we try our best.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the question and gives a clear overall view: the benefits are judged “far superior” to the disadvantages. Relevant advantages include confidence and productivity, while the drawbacks include disappointment and possible mental distress when effort does not lead to success. These points are appropriate, and the example of a student aiming to be the top scorer helps illustrate the first benefit. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained: the claim that hard work makes children “more successful than others” is broad, and the second disadvantage about tasks requiring focus is not clearly distinguished from the first. To strengthen the response, explain these points more precisely and develop the consequences with specific reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a coherent overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates the writer’s position. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Another benefit,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages. This clear organisation is a strength. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and several sentences run together, particularly in the advantages paragraph, where multiple points are joined with “since,” “for instance,” and “furthermore.” Some references are also unclear, such as “that person” and “they” when the subject shifts between a child and people generally. Use clearer sentence boundaries and vary linking methods so the progression feels more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “achievable,” “productive,” “accomplish,” and “mental suffering,” and it attempts to express ideas beyond very basic language. However, the range is limited by repeated wording around “achieve,” “working hard,” and “success,” while several inaccurate choices or spellings reduce precision: “noting” for “nothing,” “enouth,” “believe” as a noun, and “a splendid outcome” in this context. Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “pathway to be more successful” and “working hard is the possible way.” Build a more precise range of collocations and check spelling and word forms. For example, use “attain their goals” or “make progress” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There are attempts at complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “when” and “since,” and the essay’s main meaning is generally understandable. However, control is inconsistent: errors occur in verb agreement, tense, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “that child become” should be “that child becomes,” and “he start working” should be “he starts working.” The opening also contains an incomplete construction in “There are plethora of reasons associate with this believe,” while the long sentence beginning “To begin with” needs clearer punctuation and clause boundaries. These recurring errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using subordinate clauses while checking agreement and punctuation.

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