Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

CHILDREN ARE FREQUENTLY TOLD THAT HARD WORK IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS. THERE ARE NUMEROUS BENEFITS OF THIS MESSAGE.

THE MOST SIGNIFICANT FACTOR ABOUT THIS IS THAT CHILDREN LEARN TO WORK HARD AT A VERY SMALL AGE WHICH IS CRUCIAL FOR THEIR DEVELOPMENT AND GROWTH. MOREOVER, THEY DONOT RELY ON THEIR PARENTS FOR THE PARTICULAR THING OR LAVISH LIFESTYLE. THEY WILL LEARN HOW TO EARN BREAD AND BUTTER ON THEIR OWN. PARENTS ONLY PROVIDE THE PATH TO BE FOLLOWED CHILDREN.

ANOTHER CONTRIBUTING FACTOR IS THAT IT WILL HELP IN THE GROOMING OF CHILDREN. WHEN THEY DO HARD WORK THEIR PERSONALITIES WILL DEVEOP. THEY WILL BE ABLE TO HANDLE THE CRITICAL SITUATIONS BY THEMSELVES.

CONVERSELY, SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT IT IS NOT GOOD TO GIVE THIS MESSAGE TO CHILDREN AT A YOUNG AGE. THIS WILL IMPOSE PRESSURE OR BURDEN ON CHILDREN.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify a relevant benefit: children may learn to work independently and develop the ability to handle difficult situations. However, the response addresses the question only partially. The advantages are asserted rather than explained with specific examples, and the disadvantage is limited to the claim that the message may create pressure; you do not explain how this could affect children or discuss when the message might be unrealistic. There is also no concluding position. The response is 140 words, so it does not meet the required minimum of 250 words. To develop the answer, explain both sides in more depth and show that effort matters while recognising that success can also depend on circumstances beyond a child’s control.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: it introduces the topic, presents two advantages, and then signals a disadvantage with “Conversely.” This gives the reader a simple route through the ideas. However, progression is limited because the points are brief and are not connected through explanation or examples. Some links between ideas are unclear, as in “Parents only provide the path to be followed children,” and the second advantage largely repeats the idea of personal development without showing how it follows from the first. Add a clear concluding paragraph and use linking phrases to show cause, contrast, and example relationships, rather than relying mainly on “Moreover,” “Another,” and “Conversely.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “development,” “personalities,” “critical situations,” and “pressure or burden.” These choices help communicate the general ideas. However, the range is limited, and several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “earn bread and butter,” “the particular thing,” and “grooming of children.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “deveop,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural collocations and avoid repeating broad terms such as “hard work” without elaboration. For example, you could describe children as becoming “self-reliant” or explain that unrealistic expectations may cause “stress” or “fear of failure.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a few complex structures, including “When they do hard work, their personalities will…” and “that it is not good to give this message…,” alongside mostly simple sentences. The main ideas are generally understandable, but control is uneven. Examples include the missing “to” in “the path to be followed children,” the incorrect form in “They donot rely,” and inconsistent tense in “This will impose pressure” after a present-tense claim. Sentence patterns are also repetitive, and the all-capital presentation makes punctuation and sentence boundaries harder to read. Practise accurate clause construction, consistent tense, and varied sentence forms; then proofread for spacing, punctuation, and grammatical completeness.

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