Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many societies, children are often taught that by working hard they can achieve anything. This essay will discuss the positives and negatives of this statement.

One of the core significant advantage of teaching children to try hard is to insitill a sense of hope in them. Telling young people that they can acheive anything helps them in building confidence, thereby taking initiatives towards achieving their goals. For example, the famous cricketer, Virat Kohli often shares his experience that how practicing hard, maintaing a strict lifestyle has helped him acheive success in the world of cricket. Therfore, success comes with hard work.

Another significant advantage of this can be, preparing young adults to face the harsh realities of life. Todays world is full of competition and people often succumb to many life challenges. Therefore guiding children in their young age not to loose hope and keep trying is essential for them to survive in this competitive world.

On the contrary, this message can have its own disadvantages. Many times people can become too harsh on their children, teaching them about acheiving things and totally forgetting about enjoying the little things. Childhood is itself a stage of exploration, however instead of letting a child explore the world, adults try to train them by setting standards and quantifying their trails and successes. This can lead to stress in young adults. Further, this message can also interfere with the personalities of young children. They would think that everything is a competition and that human have to struggle to acheice success.

In conclusion, there is both advantage and disadvantage of teaching young individuals about working hard to acheive anything in the world. However, a balance should be there to teach children to enjoy

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a relevant focus on the message that effort can lead to success. The benefits are illustrated through confidence, persistence and the example of Virat Kohli; the drawbacks include pressure, reduced enjoyment and seeing life as a competition. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that this message prepares children for “the harsh realities of life” would be stronger with a clearer explanation of how persistence helps them respond to setbacks. The final point about personality is also broad and could be linked more explicitly to the effects on children. Your conclusion begins to recommend balance, but the final thought is incomplete, so the overall position is not fully rounded.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression from confidence to resilience, then to pressure and competition, is easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “For example,” “Therefore” and “On the contrary” help signal relationships between ideas, and paragraphing is appropriate. To make the organisation more consistently effective, avoid relying on formulaic transitions and make the links between claims more explicit. For example, the move from the example of Kohli to “Therefore, success comes with hard work” repeats the point rather than developing it. The conclusion also stops mid-thought after “enjoy,” which weakens the sense of closure. More precise referencing and a complete final sentence would strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “instill a sense of hope,” “taking initiatives,” “harsh realities” and “quantifying their trials and successes.” These choices allow you to discuss both motivation and pressure, and the meaning is generally clear. There are, however, several spelling errors, including “acheive,” “insitill,” “Therfore” and “loose,” as well as some awkward or imprecise combinations such as “core significant advantage” and “survive in this competitive world.” These reduce the accuracy and naturalness of the vocabulary. Aim to choose collocations that fit the intended meaning and proofread spelling carefully; a more precise range would help express the consequences of the message without relying on broad phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a relative clause in “adults try to train them by setting standards” and a contrast introduced by “however.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “One of the core significant advantage” has an incorrect singular/plural pattern, while “people can become too harsh on their children, teaching them about achieving things” leaves the relationship between the actions unclear. In “the famous cricketer, Virat Kohli often shares his experience that how…,” the clause structure is not well formed. The final sentence is also incomplete, preventing accurate control from being demonstrated there. Practise accurate noun phrases, clause construction and sentence completion while retaining your attempts at complex forms.

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