Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Children are the future stars of any culture if they do hard work can achieve anything. There are many pros and cons of this message if told them about this.

There are many advantages if we told them they can achieve every thing if they work hard. Firstly the children would more focus on their nourishment and will do hardwork for achieve anything. For example one of my Uncle whose child were very slow in study. But one thing is that he was a hardworker almost he was in 9th class.

He was not much clever in studies like others student but he gained good marks as compared to others. The reason of his achievement was his hardwork.

Secondly, the advantage of hard work is children become addicted of hard work in future they have to live in hostels and in practical life they have have to face some challanges. If they would be addict of hard doing they can do anything for the betterment of life.

On contrary, there are many disadvantages by giving this message for example sometime work smart is better than try hard. one of my friend Ali who was not a hard woker but he was a smart worker and he always performed well in any work. Because this is the era of artificial intelligence smart work is important.

To conclude, in any culture children are often told that they can achieve anyth

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both sides of the question: the examples about your uncle’s study results support the possible benefit of effort, while Ali’s success through smart work introduces a disadvantage of the message. However, the discussion is limited and the distinction between hard work and the claim that children can achieve “anything” is not fully explored. The second advantage—preparing children for hostel and practical life—is asserted rather than clearly explained. The conclusion is incomplete (“To conclude… they can achieve anyth”), so your final position is not established. The response contains 230 words, below the 250-word minimum; the eight words copied from the task prompt are excluded from that count. Develop each point and complete the conclusion to address the task more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: you begin with an introduction, separate advantages from a disadvantage, and use signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “On contrary.” This helps readers identify the broad direction of the response. However, progression is not consistently clear because examples and explanations are sometimes joined abruptly; for instance, the uncle’s story begins with “one thing is that he was a hardworker” without a clear link to the preceding claim. The final paragraph is cut off, leaving the essay without a completed conclusion. Some linking phrases are also repetitive or awkwardly used. Give each main idea a clear paragraph, explain how its example supports it, and use a complete concluding paragraph.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a small range of relevant vocabulary, including “achievement,” “betterment of life,” “smart worker,” and “artificial intelligence,” so the main topic is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are repeated, especially “hard work” and “children.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “focus on their nourishment” when discussing effort in education, and “addicted of hard work.” Spelling and word formation also need attention in “hardworker,” “challanges,” and “every thing.” Aim for more precise language about persistence, learning, and realistic expectations, and check spelling and natural word combinations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a conditional idea (“If they would be addict of hard doing…”), and the reader can usually follow your main points. However, the range is limited, and attempts to connect clauses often contain errors. For example, the opening sentence joins two ideas without a suitable connector, while “the children would more focus” is missing a verb form and “one of my Uncle whose child were” has problems with agreement and sentence structure. There are also errors in articles, plurals, and verb patterns, as in “others student” and “for achieve anything.” Practise building accurate sentences with because, although, and if, and check subject–verb agreement and complete sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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