Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In certain cultures, childrens often recieve a message that if they try hard then they will achieve anything. I firmly believe that its advanteges outweigh the disadvantages beacausethis will enhance their self-confidence and focus on a particular task.

One of the main advantages of giving this message is that this will boost their confidence on themselves. This is because when they got this message they work hard than ever to achieve their goal. If they achieve their goal they will believe that they can do anything by working hard. Consequently, this will improve their self-confidence. Moreover, this will also improve their concentration level while working because they want to prove themselves. So, they will not be distracted by anything and put all of their effort on that task and only leave it when they will accomplish it. Moreover, it will also help them in their practical life to be focused on certain occassions.

However, it also has some disadvantages and one of them is that they will not think like humans and just do a thing after and after. This is because they were told to work hard, even after failing in it. Humans have a common sense and they understand that they can't do a thing if they are constantly failing in it and they will try something else. Additionaly, they waste their time in doing the same thing again and again, the time which can be given to any other task or job.

In conclusion, I would say that the benefits of this message outweigh the drawbacks because they enhance their self-confidence and concentration on a particular task.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear position: the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. The points about confidence and concentration are relevant, and you explain how success after effort may reinforce a child’s belief in their abilities. You also identify a genuine risk: children may persist with an unworkable approach and lose time. However, the disadvantages are less fully developed than the advantages, and the claim that children “will not think like humans” is unclear and overgeneralised. Explain more precisely how the message could encourage unrealistic expectations or make children blame themselves when effort does not lead to success. This would make the discussion more balanced and the supporting ideas clearer.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates your position. The progression within the advantages paragraph is generally easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Consequently” and “However” help signal relationships between ideas. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some features of stronger progression. To make the flow more flexible, reduce repeated transitions such as “Moreover” and avoid relying on “This is because” to introduce explanations. Some references are also unclear: “this” in “this will boost their confidence” could refer more precisely to the message or to the child’s effort. Clearer referencing and more varied links would strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main ideas, with relevant terms such as “self-confidence,” “concentration,” “accomplish,” and “drawbacks.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “recieve,” “advanteges,” “beacausethis,” and “occassions.” Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear, particularly “confidence on themselves,” “put all of their effort on that task,” and “do a thing after and after.” Aim to use more accurate collocations and a wider range of topic-specific language, while checking spelling carefully. More precise wording would help express the contrast between persistence and knowing when to change strategy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses with “because” and a conditional idea in “if they try hard then they will achieve anything.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “when they got this message they work hard” shifts inconsistently between past and present, while “they will not think like humans and just do a thing” has an unclear structure. The sentence beginning “So, they will not be distracted” also combines several ideas in a way that makes the relationship between them awkward. Work on consistent tense, clearer clause construction, and punctuation around introductory clauses. These improvements would make your varied sentence forms more controlled.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.