Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some cultures, children are encouraged they can achieve anything if they work hard, has become a widely debated issue. I believe giving this message to children can be beneficial sometime, but also has some drawbacks.

One of the main reasons is that by working hard,they will accomplish their goals. This is because when they have strong determination and motivation, they can build successful careers. For example, if a person want to become a doctor, comes from an underdeveloped area, how they can achieve such a big dream. When they know hard work is the key to success, they become more determined to achieve their goals and build a successful career. Additionally, they can help other children how to pursue progress by consistent effort. Furthermore, they can contribute in the prosperity of a country because many students are dedicated to study. Consequently, communities become more educated through countinous efforts.

However, when children are addicted to constant progress, it may lead detrimental effecton their health. This is because sometimes childlren not perform well in examinations and receive disappointing results. They may lose confidence and become discouraged from pursuing their academic goals. They may become less motivated and stop working consistently because of poor results. So, sometimes consistant achievements and prosperity may be harmful for children.

In conclusion, hard work is buiding block of success, which help pupils to attain high grades in their academics and build a successful careers. However, a greater obsession with success may be harmful for their mental health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and give a clear overall view: hard work can support achievement, while excessive pressure can harm mental health. The examples about becoming a doctor and contributing to a more educated community are relevant, but the doctor example is phrased unclearly and the link between individual effort and national prosperity needs more explanation. The disadvantage is also less fully developed: you describe children losing confidence after poor exam results, but do not clearly explain how the message that they can achieve anything might create unrealistic expectations or pressure. To strengthen the response, explain each cause-and-effect link more fully and keep the discussion closely focused on the message children receive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a contrasting paragraph on drawbacks, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Additionally,” “Furthermore,” and “However” help signal the direction of the argument. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “Additionally, they can help other children how to pursue progress” does not clearly connect to the preceding point, and the sequence from disappointing exam results to children stopping consistent effort could be explained more smoothly. The conclusion repeats the main ideas but does not add a precise final synthesis. Use clearer referencing and make each sentence build directly on the previous one, rather than relying mainly on transition words.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “determination,” “motivation,” “prosperity,” and “discouraged,” which helps communicate the topic. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “contribute in the prosperity of a country,” though the collocation is inaccurate; “contribute to a country’s prosperity” would be more natural. Other choices, including “addicted to constant progress” and “consistent achievements,” do not express the intended meaning precisely. Spelling errors such as “countinous,” “childlren,” and “consistant” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural collocations and check spelling carefully; this will make your vocabulary more effective without needing unnecessarily complex words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning “This is because” and “when,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, errors occur across sentence structures and verb forms. For example, “a person want” needs subject–verb agreement, while “sometimes childlren not perform well” is missing an auxiliary verb. The opening sentence is also incomplete or incorrectly joined: “children are encouraged they can achieve anything … has become a widely debated issue.” Articles and agreement are inconsistent in phrases such as “hard work is buiding block” and “which help pupils.” Work on forming complete sentences, using auxiliaries in negatives, and checking agreement and articles. More accurate control of these basics would make your complex ideas easier to follow.

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