Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some societies, parents encourage children to believe that they can accomplish anything in life through hard work and determination. Consistent effort and a positive mindset can play a significant role in achieving future goals. Although this message has several advantages as well as disadvantages.

Commencing with the most salient reason that it motivates children to work harder and become more determined. Moreover, when parents encourage thier children to believe in their abilities, they dovelop self-confidence and a positive attitudes towards life. Furthermore, they learn to face challanges and life lesson rather than giving up when they feel encounter difficulties. For example, yuvraj singh is an indian cricketer and he face number of failure but their father motivates him and encourage to achieve what they want.

On the other hand, children may dovelop unrealstic expectation and feel disapointed when they failed to achieve their goal. Additionally, some parents put mental pressure on children and they might feel like failures when they cannot achieve their goals and this can reduce their self-confidence and motivation. For instance, india becomes world's largest country for commiting suicide in terms of putting pressure on children by their parents and teachers for good academic result.

To conclude, My point of view is parents and teachers should motivate children to become hardworking. Moreover, support pupils for achieving their goals and not to putt mental presure on children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question: the benefits include greater effort, confidence and persistence, while the drawbacks include unrealistic expectations and pressure when children do not meet goals. Your concluding view—that adults should encourage hard work without creating pressure—is relevant. However, some points are only briefly explained. For example, the cricket example is difficult to connect clearly to the general claim, and the statement about India and suicide is broad and does not explain the link to this message. The response is also 20 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop and support your ideas. Explain each consequence more fully and use precise, clearly relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages and a conclusion. Transitions such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore” and “On the other hand” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, the sequence within paragraphs can feel mechanical because several points are introduced one after another without enough explanation of how they connect. The opening fragment, “Although this message has several advantages as well as disadvantages,” also interrupts the flow rather than completing the introduction’s contrast. Some references are unclear, particularly “their father” in the cricket example. Develop a point before moving to the next, and use linking phrases and pronouns only where their relationships are unmistakable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “determination,” “self-confidence,” “unrealistic expectation” and “mental pressure.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and the response remains understandable. However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural combinations reduce accuracy, including “dovelop,” “challanges,” “feel encounter difficulties” and “commiting suicide.” Some wording is also too broad or awkward for an academic discussion, such as “achieve what they want” and “becomes world's largest country for.” Check spelling carefully, and learn common collocations as complete phrases. More precise wording for the example and the consequences of pressure would make your argument clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex forms, including a conditional-style explanation of what may happen when children fail to reach a goal. However, some sentence structures are incomplete or faulty. “Although this message has several advantages as well as disadvantages” is a dependent clause presented as a complete sentence, and “Commencing with the most salient reason that it motivates children” is also incomplete. There are errors in agreement and verb forms, as in “a positive attitudes” and “he face number of failure,” as well as unclear tense and pronoun use in the example. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas harder to follow. Practise completing clauses and checking subject–verb agreement, articles and plural forms, while retaining a mix of sentence patterns.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.