Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some societies, children are always told that they can gain everything they want with enough hard work. While there are some drawbacks of this type of message, I believe the advantages will outweigh the demerits.

There are a number of benefits of the statement that children can achieve whatever they want with proper hard work. One possible benefit is that this will boost their confidence. When teachers and parents said every child that they are capable of doing great things, it increase their confidence. Because this acts as a motivation for them. They start to believe themselves, and work hard accordingly. This type of message helps them not to give up in their life rather keep tryig hard and hard until getting something. Consequently, a winning mentality starts to grow in themselves. In addition, their brain also functions in the positive way. Because when they are constantly told that they can achieve everything, barin takes this as a norm and start performing in this way. It affects their psychological behavior in a positive way.

However, there are disadvantages too. For example, sometimes children can lose faith in themselves because of a failure in doing something. When a child starts hard work to gain something with the hope that he can easily get those things, he will not end up findinig himself in frustration if he does not succeed in getting his goal. Becasue this failure will break his faith in himself. The reason is that sometimes having hope alone is not enough. The work environment, stress management, and luck also matter in achieving something. And this type of message make them overconfident.

In conclusion, when children are constantly told that they are able win everything if they do hard work, they become overly optimistic. This led to worse situation when they fail to get something and start losing confidence in themselves. But I think the benefits of this message will be greater because of the motivation it will provide to the children in their cognitive development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and make your position clear: you believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. The confidence and motivation points are relevant, and the example of a child becoming frustrated after failing gives the opposing side some explanation. However, several ideas are asserted rather than fully developed. For instance, the claim that a child’s brain “takes this as a norm” and performs positively is unclear and needs a more convincing explanation or example. The disadvantages could also be explored more precisely, such as explaining how unrealistic expectations may affect a child’s response to setbacks. Develop each main point with a clear cause-and-effect explanation to make the discussion more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion that restates your view. The progression from confidence to motivation is generally easy to follow, and signposts such as “In addition,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. This meets the lower-band expectation for coherent organisation and shows some stronger control through paragraphing and logical sequencing. However, cohesion is occasionally mechanical, especially the repeated use of “Because” to begin sentences, and some references are unclear, as in “this” and “these things.” Link ideas more naturally by combining related sentences and naming the idea being referred to, rather than relying on repeated connectors or vague pronouns.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “confidence,” “motivation,” “frustration,” and “overconfident.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “cognitive development.” However, the range is limited by repetition of “achieve,” “hard work,” and “message,” while several choices are unnatural or imprecise: “gain everything they want,” “winning mentality,” and “psychological behavior” do not express the intended ideas naturally in context. Spelling errors such as “tryig,” “barin,” “findinig,” and “Becasue” also reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of precise expressions for effort, expectations, and setbacks, and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional and subordinate clauses, as in “When a child starts hard work…” and “because of a failure in doing something.” The overall meaning is usually understandable, but some errors in verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction remain. For example, “When teachers and parents said every child” should use a suitable reporting verb and structure, while “it increase their confidence” needs subject–verb agreement. “This type of message make them overconfident” has the same agreement issue, and “they are able win” is missing “to.” Some sentences beginning with “Because” are fragments. Review agreement and clause boundaries, then proofread for missing words and verb forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.