Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Every community has its own ways of encouraging the younger generation on hardwork.Through hardwork and determination toddlers can achieve anything they admire in their life.In my opinion, the merits of giving the younger population this information when young outshine the demerits.Its assit them to be focused and determined expecially in their studies.

The primmary reason why youngchildren are adviced to be industrious is becouse they are going to be focused and set their goal on their studies .working with all efforts to attain such dreams.A very good example is when a chilld is introduced to succefull personel for example proffessional or entrepreneurs a child will grow having been motivated by the personality and the influence of the mentor.subsequently, a child with passion of becoming certain individual for example a doctor ,engineer,or pilot or any kind of the lucrative white colour jobs quiet associated with higher pay .if chlldren are motivated by such personnel they are eventually going to stay focused.

furtheremore,children ethics are going to improve the virtue of honestly, resilience and trustworthy.when taught that working had one has to posses this morals .There are usual phrases that chilldren are motivated with such as charity begins at home.with such doings chilldren behaviour are going to be shaped.

To sum up,the culture of teaching kids about hardwork when young is paramount becouse its shapes their focus and determination in their academics but also shapes their character vital virtuesthat one requires in life such as honesty,resilience,trustwordy .A society will grow and develop when positive culture such a this are instills into the younger genetation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response gives a clear overall view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and it develops relevant benefits: children may become focused on their studies and develop qualities such as resilience and honesty. However, the prompt asks for both advantages and disadvantages, while the essay discusses only positive effects. This means a major part of the task is not addressed, and the position is supported through a narrow set of benefits rather than a balanced discussion. The examples about meeting professionals and aspiring to become a doctor or engineer are relevant, but their connection to the claim that effort can achieve anything needs clearer explanation. To improve, explain at least one possible drawback, such as unrealistic expectations or self-blame when success depends on factors beyond effort, and develop each point with a specific explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs about benefits, and a concluding summary. The ideas generally progress from academic focus to character development, and signposts such as “The primary reason,” “Furthermore,” and “To sum up” help readers follow this sequence. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and some links between ideas are unclear. For example, the discussion moves from role models to high-paying careers without fully explaining how this supports the central claim. Several sentences run together or are separated by full stops in awkward places, which interrupts the flow. Clearer topic sentences, more precise referencing, and smoother links between examples and claims would make the progression more effective.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “determination,” “motivated,” “resilience,” and “character,” and it attempts phrases such as “younger generation” and “set their goal.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning less clear. Examples include “encouraging … on hardwork,” “lucrative white colour jobs,” and “children ethics.” Spelling errors such as “assit,” “expecially,” and “trustwordy” are also noticeable and reduce clarity. Aim to use more precise, natural expressions and check spelling carefully. For instance, describe children as being encouraged “to work hard,” refer to “white-collar careers,” and say that they develop “ethical values.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay attempts some longer structures, including conditional phrasing such as “when a child is introduced to successful personnel … a child will grow,” and it uses simple sentences to state its main points. However, the range remains limited, and errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, and punctuation are frequent enough to make parts difficult to follow. For example, “Its assist them to be focused” lacks correct subject–verb structure, while “children behaviour are going to be shaped” has problems with possession and agreement. The fragment “working with all efforts to attain such dreams” is not a complete sentence. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses; also check sentence boundaries and agreement when revising.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.