Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this modern age,the upbringing of the child has become a matter of grave concern.There is often a debate surrounding this topic that if children are told they can achieve anything they might get involved in something that is not good moral thing.

I partially agree to this opinion.There are many benefits and drawbacks regarding to this statement.Firstly the advantages.The first advantage that i can think of is that it provides the child an oppurtunity to gain motivation in any kind of matter.For example a good peptalk before a football match can help a child gain confidence and perform well in the match.Secondly,its help in developing the child to gain self believe.This is very important for a child in long-term beacuse it helps a child to stay focused on his task whether the task is easy or not.It aslo increases his will to never give up.

Moreover,there are also disadvantages of this mindset.Firstly if they are motivated towards a thing which can hurt them physically or mentally this can be very dangerous.For exmaple some parents motivate their children in attempting risky stunts like while skateboarding a child can fall from the skateboard while trying to impress his parents.Another disadvantage of its is this can develop a sense of evil or pride in a child.For example taking pride in not working hard for studies but still get good marks in the test.This mentality can only help for a short period of time.But in the end a child free of ego wins.

To sum it up,there are different views about this but for me it is important for a child to feel confident but should not also be full of pride.

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AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages and give a clear, if qualified, position: children should feel confident but not become proud. The examples about encouragement before a football match and risky skateboarding are relevant and help explain your points. However, the discussion only partly answers the precise question of telling children they can achieve anything through effort. The point about “a sense of evil or pride” is unclear, and the example of getting good marks without studying does not clearly show how this message causes that outcome. Develop the ideas more fully by explaining how the message can build resilience, while also creating unrealistic expectations or disappointment when effort does not guarantee success. A more consistent explanation of your position would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, one on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “Moreover,” and “To sum it up” make the direction of the discussion easy to follow. However, these transitions sometimes feel mechanical, and the ideas within paragraphs are not always linked clearly. For instance, the move from risky stunts to pride and academic results is abrupt, while “This mentality” does not clearly identify which idea it refers to. The conclusion repeats the general position but does not bring together the main reasons. Use clearer links between each claim and its example, and make references such as “this message” or “this attitude” precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “motivation,” “confidence,” “focused,” and “risky stunts,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “grave concern” and “long-term,” but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural and limit precision. Examples include “self believe” for self-belief, “a good peptalk,” and “a sense of evil,” which does not clearly express the intended idea. Spelling errors such as “oppurtunity,” “beacuse,” and “exmaple” are noticeable. Aim for accurate collocations and topic-specific wording, such as “build self-confidence,” “set realistic expectations,” and “develop a sense of entitlement,” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if they are motivated towards a thing which can hurt them.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation occur often enough to affect fluency. For example, “its help in developing” needs a subject–verb form such as “it helps,” and “a child free of ego wins” is not clearly connected grammatically to the preceding point. Several sentences run together without spaces after full stops, and the opening sentence would be clearer if divided or punctuated carefully. Practise accurate sentence boundaries and check agreement and article use, while keeping some complex structures in your writing.

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