Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

you can achieve anything if you try hard enough is a positive mindset which give children courage, hope and motivation to strive for bigger achievments while this mindset can also make a child anxious and over burdenize.

In positive prespective this culture taught the children that sky is the limit and gave them the mindset that nothing is impossible, by working hard they can achieve anything and everything they wanted. It gives children the freedom to drean big and actually work hard to make them reality. Children are encouraged to do anything out of the life without any restraints or judgments.Because many children nerver even try to do anything out of their comfort zone just due to the fear of not being enough or lack of encouragnment. So when a child from the very start knows that their is not set rules or a set course for them to follow they naturally explore more options, dream big and eventually achieve it. one of the example is 6 years young girl ARFA KAREEN from PAKISTAN who built microsoft.

This mindset has so many positive outlooks but at the same time this can make a child anxious and over pressurized. Some children become over critical to them selves because they thought that their failure is their fault. They aim so high and if they dont reach there then started blaming themselves for not working hard for it, even though they have given everything to that goal. they depriciate themselves for what they have not achieved and forget the learning and experience they have learned in that whole process.

Concludingly this mind can have wonderous effects if applied in a practical way. In my prespective its pros always out weighs its cons

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question: the message can encourage ambition and exploration, but it can also create anxiety and self-blame. The example of a child being encouraged to leave their comfort zone supports the advantage, while the discussion of children blaming themselves for failure explains a disadvantage. Your concluding view—that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks when the message is applied practically—also gives the response a clear position. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that children may “eventually achieve it” needs qualification, and the example about Arfa Kareem is not clearly connected to the effects of this message. Develop each main idea with a clearer explanation of how it affects children.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. The contrast signalled by “at the same time” helps the reader follow the shift to the drawbacks, and the final sentence restates your position. Some progression is less smooth, however. The first body paragraph moves from confidence to comfort zones and then to an example without clearly linking each point. References such as “this mindset,” “it,” and “their” are sometimes unclear, and several ideas are joined in long sentences. Use clearer topic sentences and divide the explanation into more manageable units; make sure each example directly supports the point immediately before it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of relevant expressions, including “freedom to dream big,” “out of their comfort zone,” “over critical,” and “blaming themselves.” These help communicate the main ideas, and the vocabulary is generally appropriate to the topic. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the phrasing awkward, as in “over burdenize,” “positive prespective,” “depriciate,” and “wonderous.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “do anything out of the life” and “over pressurized.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than inventing forms, and check spelling carefully. More precise terms for pressure, self-esteem, and resilience would help you express the disadvantages with greater control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and longer sentences with clauses, for example the sentence beginning “Because many children…” and the contrast introduced by “even though.” This shows an attempt to vary sentence structure. Some grammatical errors remain, though, and they occasionally make relationships between ideas harder to follow. Examples include “which give children” instead of “which gives children,” “their is” instead of “there is,” and “then started blaming” where the verb form should remain consistent. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention: several sentences begin with lowercase letters, and some long sentences run together. Practise subject–verb agreement, consistent tense, and accurate clause punctuation while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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