Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A group of folks believe that teaching children to working hard in the terms for accompolish anything. As it is a famous saying'' Dignity is in labour'' I believe that this mindset beneficial for children more than its drawbacks as it help to foster their vision and make them cognitivly mature enoguh for their successfull life.

One of the major benefits, this teaching keep their moral high in the face of adversity and exhaustion, they are less likely to giveup in the result of failure. In addition, hard working keeps children' spirit high as their vision get boarder and they are expected to bear the fruit of their hardworking. Furthermore, this message builds them cognitivly mature to be seriuos and fully attentive about their future palnnings. For intense, children who work hard in a class are expected to achieve a high score.

Although its benefits are prominent but it holds a few drawbacks. A substantial drawback is the fear of faliure as it hunts them who are fully devoted to achieve a goal while some children do not get right direction at right time. Another argument is that it creates an environmemt of compition, children take their peer as their competitors which cause a harm to their humanity. They also feel the burden of

expectations and disappointments as they did so much labour for an aim, resulting in faliure. For example, a ratio of sucides was reported of those students who burnt mid night oil for an exam and do not get expected reults.

In conclusion , hardworking has pors and cons as well but the advantges are far outweigh the drawbacks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages and make your position clear: you believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. The points about persistence after failure, future planning, pressure, and competition are relevant, and the classroom example helps illustrate the benefits. This meets the task well, while the overall judgement shows some movement towards a more fully developed response. However, several ideas need fuller explanation: for instance, the claim that hard work makes children “cognitivly mature” is not clearly connected to the message in the question, and the example about exam-related suicides is serious but lacks context and does not explain how the message itself causes this outcome. Develop these links and qualify broad claims to strengthen the argument further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “In addition,” “Furthermore,” and “Although” help signal the direction of the argument. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and some connections between ideas are unclear. The opening of the benefits paragraph, “One of the major benefits, this teaching…,” does not form a clear transition, while “Although its benefits are prominent but…” uses competing contrast signals. The sentence about children’s “vision” becoming broader is also difficult to connect to the preceding point. Use fewer formulaic connectors and make each sentence’s relationship to the previous one explicit; clearer referencing would also help readers follow who is affected.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “adversity,” “devoted,” “expectations,” and “disappointments.” These choices show an effort to express more than basic ideas, but inaccurate spelling and word choice are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning harder to follow. Examples include “accompolish,” “cognitivly,” “faliure,” and “compition.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “keep their moral high,” “their vision get boarder,” and “a ratio of sucides was reported.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise wording would help you explain the effects of encouragement without relying on vague expressions such as “their vision.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause beginning “Although” and a sentence explaining the consequences of failure. However, control is uneven: errors in sentence structure, agreement, verb forms, and punctuation occur often enough to make some sentences difficult to read. For example, “A group of folks believe that teaching children to working hard” has an incomplete grammatical pattern, and “this teaching keep their moral high” has a subject–verb agreement error. In “children take their peer as their competitors which cause a harm,” the relative clause and agreement are not controlled. Practise building accurate basic clauses first, then add subordinate clauses. Also check sentence boundaries and avoid leaving the example sentence fragment-like or loosely attached.

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