Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In few culture, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. Although doing something hard offers several benefits such as build self confidence and become focused, I believe that the disadvantages particularly burden and effect on halistic developnment.

On the one hand, one of the major merits of this is build self confidence. This is due to the fact that if children face difficulties or hard time to try hard enough they not only become more confidence and fear less to achieve their goals but also build their interest in academic achievement. Another main advantageous of this is become focused. To elaborate, by doing something hard task or work helps children to improve their critical thinking because if they give their hundered percent they can do better and build intellectual developnment which helps them in their career growth. Thus, children can prepare their body to achieve their goals in any problem.

On the other hand, one of main deterimental of this trend is burden. This means that if children can do hard enough in their early age they may face many burdens in their studies or other purpose they always feel stressed to do better which effect them in their growth. Moreover. effect on halistic development, To justify, naturally childhood age is a growing age if children can not enjoy their childhood it may face numerous obstacles in their body by which their natural growth is stop sometimes they also get mentally upset because they always have to do their task.

To conclude, even though there are numerous advantageous of this build self confidence and become focused, the disadvangeous are also not overlooked.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: the message may build confidence and focus, but can also create pressure and affect development. These points are relevant, and the examples about academic achievement, stress and children’s ability to enjoy childhood help explain your position. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully developed. For instance, the link between trying hard and “critical thinking” or career growth needs a clearer explanation, while the disadvantage about holistic development is difficult to follow. To strengthen the response, explain more precisely how the message can motivate children and when it may create unrealistic pressure, then support each point with a specific example. The conclusion could also restate your judgement more directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” makes the overall direction easy to identify. Within paragraphs, however, connections are sometimes mechanical or unclear. The sentence beginning “Moreover. effect on holistic development” is not integrated into the paragraph, and the repeated “This is due to the fact” and “To elaborate” patterns make progression feel formulaic. Some references, such as “this” and “it,” do not clearly identify the idea being discussed. Use complete topic sentences, connect each explanation explicitly to its main point, and vary linking methods so the organisation feels smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “self confidence,” “critical thinking,” “academic achievement,” and “holistic development.” This gives you enough range to discuss both benefits and drawbacks, and the intended meaning is generally recoverable. However, inaccurate word forms, spelling and collocations sometimes make the writing awkward or unclear: “deterimental,” “disadvangeous,” “hund ered percent,” and “effect on holistic development” are examples. Phrases such as “prepare their body to achieve their goals in any problem” are also not natural in this context. Aim to learn vocabulary in complete collocations and check spelling and word forms. More precise choices for pressure, motivation and development would help you express the ideas clearly and naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You try to use both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional clauses such as “if children face difficulties” and “if children cannot enjoy their childhood.” This shows an effort to explain causes and consequences. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles and verb forms sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “if children face difficulties … they not only become” needs a finite verb such as “they not only become,” while “by doing something hard task … helps children” combines incompatible sentence patterns. The sentence about childhood and natural growth also shifts awkwardly between clauses. Practise building one clear main clause before adding subordinate clauses, and check subject–verb agreement and punctuation when editing.

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