Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In some cultures, people often encourage children to work hard by saying that anything is achieveable if they work hard enough. While this trend has some advantages, the disadvantages cannot be ignored. This essay will discuss both.

The notable advantage of this saying is that children will work hard towards their goals. When children believe that they can reach their goals through their efforts, they feel enthusiastic to work hard. In other words, they dedicate their time and ability into working towards their objective, stepping out of their comfort zone and searching for ways to reach close to their aim. This may bring out their latent talent and enhance their ability. Additionally, the feeling of being inferior to naturally talented people also reduces as their belief of hardwork beating talent exists.

However, there are drawbacks to this as well. Firstly, if an individual does not acheive their desired result after dedicating their time and efforts, they may feel like their hardwork went to vain. This can heavily affect their mental health and they may become depressed. Moreover, failure can discourage them from putting efforts in the future as well. Another disadvantage is that, false hope might encourage children to aim for goals which may be unrealistic and out of their ability. It is important for children to be aware of their caliber. Although a child can improve their ability by working hard, they can only achieve much. Hardwork alone does not guarantee success. For instance, if a child wants to become a doctor but he is bad at memorizing, it is unrealistic for him to be able to become a doctor as doctors have to memorize everything. Hence, saying that anything is achieveable by working hard can be detrimental.

To sum it up, although encouraging children to work hard towards their goals can be beneficial as they will feel more enthusiastic to work hard, it also presents challanges like kids aiming for goals out of their ability and affects on mental health upon failing to reach their goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a clear overall position: the message can motivate children, but may also create unrealistic expectations and distress after failure. The first advantage is supported through a plausible chain from belief in effort to persistence and the development of latent talent. The disadvantages are also relevant, especially the possible effect of failure on mental health. However, some points are less fully developed: the claim that a child who struggles with memorisation cannot become a doctor is too absolute and does not adequately explain the broader issue of realistic goals. To strengthen the response, qualify this example and explain more precisely how adults can encourage effort while acknowledging limits and uncertainty.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear, logical structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates the central contrast. Linking phrases such as “Additionally,” “However,” and “To sum it up” make the progression easy to follow, and the ideas within each main paragraph generally build in a sensible order. This is a strong foundation. At times, however, the links are somewhat formulaic, and the conclusion largely repeats earlier points rather than drawing them together. The example about becoming a doctor also interrupts the flow slightly because its reasoning is not fully connected to the claim about unrealistic goals. Develop smoother links between claims and examples, and use referencing more precisely to make the progression feel less list-like.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range to discuss motivation, effort and outcomes, including phrases such as “stepping out of their comfort zone,” “latent talent,” and “mental health.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and the meaning remains clear despite some inaccurate or awkward expressions. For example, “hardwork beating talent” and “went to vain” are not natural collocations, while “caliber” is less precise than the intended idea of a child’s abilities or suitability. There are also spelling errors, including “achieveable,” “acheive,” and “challanges.” Greater control of collocation, word forms and spelling would make the argument more precise and natural. Review common phrases for discussing effort and failure, and proofread carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if an individual does not achieve their desired result” and a concessive clause beginning “Although a child can improve their ability.” Most sentences communicate their meaning clearly, and the paragraphing supports readability. Some grammatical inaccuracies remain, particularly in sentence construction and agreement. For example, “false hope might encourage children to aim for goals which may be unrealistic and out of their ability” would be clearer as “false hope might encourage children to pursue goals that are unrealistic or beyond their abilities.” The final sentence, “it also presents challenges like kids aiming for goals out of their ability and affects on mental health,” has an unclear parallel structure. Aim to make coordinated ideas grammatically consistent and check article and preposition use.

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