Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In most cultures, young ones are given the concept that they can achieve anything by true effort. This may prove advantageous for children, later in their lives.

A compelling reason for this is that this instills in young minds a spirit and enthusiasm backed up by horse sense and persistence which most frequently makes for success. It sparks a thirst in them for the acquisition of their goals and ambitions. They believe in hardwork and consider it the sole means to gain their objectives. This perspective encourages youth to use their potential in productive schemes rather than opting for destructive or negative activities. This lesson is quite common in asian countries where children are encouraged to strive for progress as the traditional cultural practice. For instance, In China, most children are taught to work hard from the very initial stage of their academic journey and eventually they succeed in achieving their goals. The thriving chinese economy is evident of this.

In contrast to this, this practice has some demerits too. In many underdeveloped and developing countries,

paper leaks,corrupt education systems and unfair policies lead to the wastage of the efforts of many students every year. They suffer a hard time to accept the reality for which they are not ready. This also demotivates and discourages many pupils leading them to commit suicides or dropping out of universities.

This happens in countries like Pakistan and India where pupils are extremely competitive.

In conclusion, Making efforts and working hard is fruitful concept but pupils should never be demotivated or discouraged if they dont achiev their objectives

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and gives a clear overall view: effort is beneficial, but children should not be discouraged if they fail. The positive side is supported with points about persistence, ambition and productive use of potential, while the discussion of unfair education systems explains why effort may not guarantee success. However, some ideas are asserted more than developed. The claim that hard work is the “sole means” to achieve goals is not examined, and the China example moves from children’s work ethic to the national economy without showing the connection. The disadvantages are relevant but would benefit from explaining more fully how unrealistic expectations affect children. Develop each main point with a clearer explanation or a specific, directly relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages and a conclusion. Contrast markers such as “In contrast” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main direction. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes uneven. The advantages paragraph moves from persistence to productive activities, then to Asian cultural practices and the Chinese economy, with links between these points not always made explicit. The disadvantages paragraph also breaks the discussion with a separate sentence about Pakistan and India rather than integrating it into the explanation. Some references, such as “This happens,” are vague. Use clearer topic sentences and connect examples directly to the point they illustrate; this would make the organisation more consistently logical.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

There is an adequate range of vocabulary, including relevant terms such as “persistence,” “ambitions,” “productive,” “corrupt education systems” and “competitive.” The writer also attempts less common expressions, for example “a thirst” for goals and “demerits,” showing willingness to vary word choice. Some choices are inaccurate or unnatural, however: “horse sense” does not fit the intended meaning, “fruitful concept” is an awkward collocation, and “evident of” should be expressed differently. Spelling and word-form control also need attention in “hardwork,” “achiev,” and the inconsistent capitalisation of “Chinese.” Aim for natural collocations rather than ornate expressions, and check spelling and word forms carefully. These issues do not prevent the main ideas from being understood.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response uses both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “a spirit and enthusiasm … which most frequently makes for success” and a cause-and-effect construction in “leading them to commit suicides or dropping out of universities.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical and punctuation errors remain. For example, “This may prove advantageous for children, later in their lives” has an unnecessary comma, and “In many underdeveloped and developing countries, paper leaks…” is interrupted by an awkward line break. The final sentence also needs clearer clause structure and punctuation. Review sentence boundaries, comma use, and parallel forms in constructions such as “commit … or dropping out.” Greater accuracy across these varied structures would strengthen the response.

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