Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is believe that, children in some traditions can achieve anything if they work harder. In this essay i will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

To begin with, when baby was born parents set goals for their children what was their dream and force children to get that position if they work harder; but they not relised what their child want . In middle class families they force their children work harder and not to give them proper diet only force them to achieve specific goal. For instance, my friend lived near to my house and their parents force her to became a doctor instead of what they want to do in thier life; my friend wish was to became a teacher but their parents force to fulfill that wish.

Moreover, many rich family support their children to achieve their goals and they support their children what ever they want to complete their wishes. In different socities like upper class they will help children to try harder to earn their goal and not to force them anything.

To sum up, both prespective have their own pros and cons but in my point of view if you earn important position in your life you can work harder but it also important to concern your health also ; proper diet , sleep in proper time and not using extra screen timing, set a proper timetable to achieve their dream, but also stop saying their children to earn anything if they want,As if they work hard and they cannot earn anything they will be sad and next time they did not focus properly and not do hard work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the advantages-and-disadvantages topic and give a clear concern: pressure to pursue a parent’s ambition can conflict with a child’s wishes, as in the example of your friend who wanted to teach. However, the response focuses mainly on parental pressure and social class rather than explaining both advantages and disadvantages of telling children that effort can help them achieve anything. The possible benefit—that the message may encourage persistence or confidence—is not clearly developed, and the discussion of rich and middle-class families does not establish how the message itself affects children. Your conclusion adds useful cautions about health and disappointment, but the overall position and supporting ideas remain limited. Develop one relevant advantage and one disadvantage with clear explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. Basic signposts such as “To begin with,” “Moreover” and “To sum up” also indicate stages in the essay. However, there is no consistent progression from the question’s two sides: the first body paragraph discusses parental pressure, while the next shifts to wealth and social class without clearly connecting this to the message about effort. Some links are unclear, particularly “my friend wish was to became a teacher but their parents force to fulfill that wish,” which appears to contradict the intended point. The conclusion combines several ideas in one long sentence. Organise around one advantage and one disadvantage, and use clear references and sentence boundaries.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a small range of topic-related vocabulary, including “goals,” “achieve,” “force,” “proper diet” and “timetable,” which helps convey the general subject. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “children,” “work harder” and “achieve.” Some choices are inaccurate or unclear, such as “earn their goal,” “earn anything” and “complete their wishes”; these make parts of the argument difficult to interpret. There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “prespective,” “socities,” “relised” and “thier.” Aim for more precise expressions for effort and outcomes, and check spelling carefully. For example, “pursue a goal” or “fulfil an ambition” would express your meaning more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “when baby was born” and a concluding sentence with “if” and “but.” However, the range is limited, and complex attempts often contain errors that make meaning hard to follow. Examples include “It is believe,” “parents set goals for their children what was their dream,” and “they not relised what their child want.” These show problems with verb forms, agreement and sentence construction. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent, as in “when baby was born” and “many rich family.” Punctuation is unreliable, particularly in the long final sentence, where clauses run together. Practise building accurate short sentences first, then combine them using correctly formed subordinate clauses.

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