Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

I believe that all cultures emphasise the value of hardwork to their children. When we were younger, our parents taught us the necessaity of hardwork and perserverance in all parts of our daily lives. Wether its academics, sports or professional careers, if we stick around working for it long enough, we would eventually acheive it. Overall, I agree that children should be taught the importance of hardwork.

Advising children to work hard to acheive their goals is very important, so we need to show its likeliness acheivements, which is perceived as a reward by the human brain. Hardwork increases dedication and motivation. We are not discouraged by failures, instead we tend to try multiple times before we acheiving our goals. Every person has worked hard at some point of their lives, from scientists, students, businessmen and world-leaders. Today, we recognize their hard work that has global impact across all known life subjects.

While disadvantages of this advice is not readily appearant, I believe each child needs the support and guidance to avoid misconceptions and negative opinions about hardwork. For example, a child may study very hard for a maths test but still acheive inadequate results. He or she keeps trying but, they see little to no improvment, even after multiple attempts. Children are easily frustrated as they are unable to comprehend the point of hardwork at an impressionable age. So in these scenarios we should let children know that its perfectly okay to fail. Some weaknesses cannot be overcome by hardwork alone. This is also true in sports, where no matter how hard you try, someone will defeat you because they are naturally gifted with superior abilities.

In my opinion, I stand by encouraging children to work hard for their studies, competetions and their careers. However we must also let them coping skills after facing failures, as hardwork alone doesn't guarantee success which is a dissapointing reality in the real-world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and make your position clear: you support encouraging effort, while recognising that effort does not guarantee success. The benefits are relevant, particularly your points about motivation, persistence after failure, and the example of repeated study for a maths test. The disadvantage is also explained through frustration and natural differences in ability. However, the advantages are more fully developed than the disadvantages, and some claims remain broad—for example, the reference to scientists, students and world leaders does not show specifically how the message benefits children. To strengthen the response, explain each main point with a more precise child-focused example and clarify that effort can improve the chance of success without guaranteeing it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, one on drawbacks, and a concluding position. The progression from persistence to the risk of frustration is easy to follow, and signposts such as “For example,” “So in these scenarios,” and “However” help guide the reader. This gives the essay a coherent arrangement. Some links are less smooth or precise, however. The opening moves from a general claim about cultures to personal experience and then to the essay position, while the benefits paragraph shifts from motivation to a broad list of successful people. In places, references such as “this advice” and “its” are not fully clear. Use more explicit links between each claim and its example, and make sure each paragraph develops one central line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “dedication,” “motivation,” “misconceptions,” “guidance,” and “coping skills.” These choices help communicate the main ideas about effort and children’s responses to failure. However, spelling errors are noticeable, including “hardwork,” “necessaity,” “perserverance,” “acheive,” and “dissapointing,” and some combinations of words are unnatural or imprecise, such as “show its likeliness acheivements” and “global impact across all known life subjects.” These issues limit the precision and naturalness of the vocabulary. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations as complete phrases; for example, describe the likelihood of achieving a goal or the impact of someone’s work rather than assembling these expressions word by word.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if we stick around working for it long enough” and a longer example about a child studying for a test. Most of the meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity and control. For instance, “While disadvantages of this advice is not readily appearant” has a subject–verb agreement problem and an incomplete construction, while “they tend to try multiple times before we acheiving our goals” shifts pronouns and uses an incorrect verb form. The final sentence, “we must also let them coping skills,” is also structurally incomplete. Practise checking agreement, consistent pronouns, and verb patterns after verbs such as “let” and “before.” More accurate complex sentences would improve the range you are already attempting.

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