Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some cultures, children are told that they can get anything if they work hard. There ar e advantages as well as disadvantages of this view as well but advantages outwiegh disadvantages.

Firstly, it gives children the opportunity to explore themselves as they will know what are the main problems which are obstacles in their way of achieving a particular goal. They will work on it and when they achieve it they will feel motivated because of the fact that they will know if they work hard they can achieve their goals and if they do not they can fall behind from other children.

Additionally, they will bbecome more oriented to their tasks rather than focusing on other things like mobile phones, gaming etc.

With all the advantages in mind, giving children only one sentence about the goal accomplishment without giving them the proper pathway which they need to utilize can also make them feel depressed as not all the children have the same mindset.

In addition, this message can also put the thought inind of children that if they work hard they can succeed but if they focus on smartwork their goal can not be accomplished and they will fall behind which is the negative aspect of telling children this kind of message. Although, working hard is good but smart work can also give a boost for a goal accomplishment.

In conclusion, believing that only hard work is necessary to succeed in life and achieve anything without proper guidelines and pathway can put children into depression but also the positive aspect of this such as motivation and goal orientation can not be ignored.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and make your overall view clear: the benefits of motivation and goal orientation are balanced against the risk of discouragement when children receive no guidance. The examples about identifying obstacles and concentrating less on phones are relevant. However, some points are only partly explained. For instance, the claim that children may “fall behind from other children” is not clearly connected to the message, and the distinction between hard work and “smart work” is introduced late without showing how children might interpret the advice. Develop each point with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation, and make your position on the balance of advantages and disadvantages consistent from the introduction to the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate discussion of benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Additionally,” and “In addition” help signal the progression. Overall, the reader can follow the main argument. However, some linking is mechanical, and the relationship between ideas is occasionally unclear. The sentence beginning “With all the advantages in mind” shifts to the disadvantage without a sufficiently precise transition, while “Although, working hard is good” is awkwardly connected to the preceding point. The conclusion also repeats several ideas rather than synthesising them. Use clearer references and transitions to show how each point develops from the previous one, and keep each paragraph focused on one main aspect.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss the topic, including relevant terms such as “obstacles,” “motivated,” “mindset,” and “guidelines.” Some phrases, however, are imprecise or unnatural, which limits the clarity and flexibility of your expression. “Get anything” is too absolute for the idea of achieving goals, “fall behind from other children” is an awkward collocation, and “goal accomplishment” is repeated where a more natural phrase would improve fluency. There are also spelling slips, including “outwiegh” and “bbecome,” and the joined form “inind.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and vary repeated wording; proofreading will help ensure that spelling does not distract from your ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “as,” and “if,” and most of your meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors nevertheless reduce accuracy. For example, “they will know what are the main problems” uses incorrect word order in an embedded question; “if they do not they can fall behind” needs clearer punctuation and a more complete conditional structure; and “Although, working hard is good” has incorrect punctuation after the subordinating conjunction. The opening sentence also contains an awkward repeated construction (“as well as disadvantages as well”). Practise embedded questions, conditional clauses, and punctuation in complex sentences, then check each sentence for a clear grammatical structure.

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