Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many cultures, children says that if the do work hard the achieve any thing.In this essay I give some advantage and disadvantages of this message

Fist,it os a very good idea because hard work is mor important for achievement because with out hard work we can not sccsses we can not achieve our goals.

The sacand thing is, hard work make as more comfortable in any situations like if we do hard work we can not stack an tap situation for example,if we study and we work hard in preparation before exams so,we achieved top level in our exam.

Thired, hard work make our brain strong because if you work hard your brain depends and becomes more strong for remembering things.

There is also some disadvantages like some time we do work hard but we can't achieve success we cannot reach into our distantion because of our luck so, in this situation many people choose a bad waya like taking drugs etc.

Sacand,if wedo more hard work and can't give some time for physical activity so our body becomes unhealthy and we support a lot of diseases.

So,in my opinion we need both of them ille we do hard work for achievement for our goals but we cannot forgat our physical health we cannot leave our physical activity like crikakat, football and other physical game which is nesseccry for our halth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages and give a clear overall view in the conclusion: hard work matters, but children should also protect their health. Relevant advantages include reaching goals and preparing for exams, while the disadvantages include disappointment when effort does not bring success and reduced physical activity. However, several points are asserted rather than explained; for example, the claim that hard work makes the brain stronger is not clearly supported. The discussion also focuses mainly on hard work itself, with limited explanation of the effects of telling children they can achieve anything. The response is 18 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop the ideas. Explain the message’s effects on children and extend each point with a specific, clear example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a discussion of advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a concluding opinion. Sequencing words such as “First,” “The second thing,” and “So” help signal the order of points. However, progression is often list-like, and the repeated numbering does not show how the ideas relate to one another. Some connections are unclear, particularly the move from hard work to becoming “more comfortable in any situations,” and the conclusion introduces examples of sports without developing them. Paragraphing would be more effective if advantages and disadvantages were grouped clearly, with each paragraph centred on one main idea. Use linking phrases to explain cause and effect, rather than relying mainly on numbered transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant terms, including “hard work,” “achievement,” “goals,” “success,” and “physical activity,” so the general topic is understandable. However, vocabulary is repetitive, and several inaccurate or misspelled expressions make parts difficult to interpret, such as “stack an tap situation,” “distantion,” and “bad waya.” Some phrases also do not express the intended meaning naturally, including “our brain depends” and “we support a lot of diseases.” Build a more precise range for discussing effort and its consequences, and check spelling carefully. For instance, distinguish between achieving a goal, coping with a setback, and maintaining good health. More accurate word choice and collocations would make your ideas clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with “because” and “if,” as in the explanation about studying before exams. This shows an effort to connect ideas, but the range is limited and complex sentences are often difficult to follow. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in examples such as “children says,” “hard work make,” and “we achieved top level.” Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries also need attention; for example, the opening has missing spaces and punctuation, while “some disadvantages” should be followed by a clearly formed sentence. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time. Careful proofreading for verb forms and punctuation will improve readability.

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