Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many cultures, parents tell their children that they can achieve anything if they work hard. This message has both advantages and disadvantages,which I will discuss in this essay. On the one hand ,there are many advantages ,the main advantage that children are harhwork and confedence.when children comprehend,that can be successful then he is school and playing match very hardwork effact.for example,if the children went doctor,this message give him hope,he will read daily and will not give up early .This postive thinging helps children in their future .On the other hand, however, it also some serious disadvantages on and off the children they do not everything achieve would get many hardwork . for instance,every children can not cricket star,when they are fail then very sad and dispoint, they think it is his fault .His lose confedence abd stress .In conclusion telling children that they can achieve everythinh is good gor motivate,but can it too much pressure on them.Parents should encourage children,but also teach them to accept failure

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question: hard work may give children hope and persistence, while unrealistic expectations may lead to sadness, disappointment, and stress. The examples of working towards becoming a doctor and not every child becoming a cricket star are relevant. However, the discussion is brief and the ideas are only partly explained; for example, the link between the message and doing well at school or in sport is difficult to follow. Your conclusion gives a balanced recommendation, but the position could be clearer and supported with fuller explanation. The response is 167 words, below the required 250, so it cannot develop both advantages and disadvantages sufficiently. Add specific explanation and examples for each side.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a basic overall structure: an introduction, an advantages section, a disadvantages section, and a conclusion. Phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of your response. However, progression within the paragraphs is not always clear, and some ideas run together, particularly in the sentence beginning “on the other hand.” References such as “this message” and “they” are sometimes unclear, making it harder to see who or what is being discussed. Use separate, clearly developed paragraphs and connect each example explicitly to its main point. A more consistent sequence—claim, explanation, example—would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “hope,” “give up,” “failure,” “pressure,” and “encourage,” and these help communicate the main ideas. However, the range is limited, and repeated basic wording such as “hardwork” and “children” reduces precision. Several spelling and word-form errors, including “confedence,” “dispoint,” and “thinging,” may make the reader pause. Some combinations are also unclear, such as “playing match very hardwork effact” and “His lose confidence.” Build a wider set of accurate expressions for effort, achievement, and emotional consequences, and check spelling and collocations carefully. For example, describe children as “persistent” or “discouraged” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer structures, including “when children comprehend…” and the conditional idea “if they work hard,” but most sentences rely on simple patterns, and attempts to combine clauses are often faulty. Errors in sentence structure and agreement appear in examples such as “the main advantage that children are…” and “every children can not cricket star.” Verb forms and articles are also inconsistent, as in “this message give him hope” and “went doctor.” Punctuation and spacing around commas are uneven, which further obscures sentence boundaries. Practise building accurate sentences with a clear subject and verb, then add one subordinate clause at a time. Proofread for agreement, articles, and complete sentences.

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