Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many cultures, children were guided by their elders related to achievement in their lifes about hard work.They said that children can achieve anything if they work hard.In my point of view, this message have positive impact on children lifes.I think this message has no disadvantage or negative impression on the childrens.

One of the main benefits of giving this advice to the children that they become more hardworkers and they can easily choose their ambition by their choice.They explore different ideas as they take more interest on their likings.

For instance, If any child want to become a docter, he will work hard in their studies to achieve high grades.They searched different ways to obtain knowledge and get high scores to become a docter.Docor as an ambiton required too much consistency and hard work because during studies they have tough syllabus and after graduation they also required more hard work and knowledge to help community about their diseases and medications.

When they work hard to achieve some goals they become more active and healthy.If any child want to become a good sportsman than he did daily practice and its required hard work.More practice session with their friends,family and coaches will be held.Children learned ways how become a successfull person.

In my perspective,when they listen to this message they focus on their achievements.

They become more confident and they can easily do their future decisons by their own.They become more independent and support their families as well as friends.

So,hardworking is a key to become successfull in our lifes so this message is very benefical for students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear view that the message is beneficial, and you support this with examples about choosing a career, studying to become a doctor, and practising sport. These examples show relevant understanding of how encouragement may motivate children. However, the task asks for both advantages and disadvantages, while your response argues that there are “no disadvantage or negative impression” and does not explain any possible drawback. This leaves a major part of the question unanswered. Several benefits are also asserted rather than fully explained—for example, becoming “more confident” or supporting family and friends is not linked clearly to the message. To strengthen the response, discuss at least one realistic disadvantage, such as pressure or disappointment when effort does not guarantee success, and develop each point with a clear explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, several paragraphs presenting benefits, and a concluding statement. The examples about a doctor and a sportsman help organise the discussion around different goals. However, the overall progression is limited because the paragraphs repeat the same idea—that hard work leads to achievement—without clearly building a balanced argument. The conclusion also repeats the opening position rather than drawing together the discussion. Connections between ideas are sometimes abrupt, as in the shift from sports practice to confidence and independence. Use clearer topic sentences and link each example to a distinct point; a separate paragraph on disadvantages would also make the argument easier to follow. Some transitions, such as “In my perspective,” are used mechanically rather than to show a precise relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “achievement,” “ambition,” “consistency,” “practice,” and “independent.” The examples make your meaning generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “hard work,” “achieve,” and “become.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice problems, such as “lifes,” “docter,” “ambiton,” “successfull,” and “benefical,” which reduce accuracy and sometimes make the reader pause. Some combinations are unnatural, including “choose their ambition by their choice” and “help community about their diseases.” Build a wider set of accurate expressions for motivation, effort, expectations, and setbacks, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You communicate your main points using mostly simple sentences, and you attempt some longer structures with “if” clauses, such as “If any child want to become a docter, he will work hard.” However, the range of sentence forms is limited, and errors occur frequently in verb agreement, tense, articles, plurals, and sentence construction. For example, “this message have” should be “this message has,” while “If any child want” needs “wants.” In “they become more hardworkers,” the sentence structure is also faulty. Punctuation and spacing are inconsistent, especially around commas and sentence openings. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine ideas using controlled clauses; check subject–verb agreement and keep verb tense consistent.

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