Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some nations, children are told that they can achieve anything only if the try hard enough. This essay discusses the benefits and drwbacks of giving children this message.

One of the advantages of enouraging children to work hard enough to achieve a certain goal is persistence. Advice like this builds persistence in kids, as they do not tend to give up if a task becomes very hard. For example, a gymnastic student who fails at a particular trick, will refuse to quit trying that particular stunt untill he/she gets it right. That sense of persistence is built from an early stage, which will help the child in the real world out the gym as she grows.

However, there are some drawbacks to this kind of message at an early stage. Children's versatility is affected when they believe they can achieve a particular goal only when they try hard enough. It is often adviced that one should not put all their heads in one basket, so it is good to try out different things and pick what works best for you. For example, a child who wants to play football but he/she is not good at it, keep trying to be come better, still no avail, is supposed to try a different sport at that tender age. He might be good at other sports but not football. Early sense of failure that affects life decision making afterwards. Failure is inevitable, some task does not always turn out how we planned it. When kids fail at a particular goal, haven't tried so many times, they start to believe they are a failure and cant achieve anything else.

In conlusion, children who are told they can achieve anything tend to build persistence while some are affected by a limited versatility and also a sense of failure.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question: persistence is presented as an advantage, while reduced willingness to explore alternatives and the risk of feeling like a failure are disadvantages. The examples of the gymnast and the child who struggles with football make the discussion relevant. However, the benefits are developed more clearly than the drawbacks, and the latter section becomes difficult to follow when it moves from choosing another sport to the broader claim that failure can shape later decisions. The essay would be stronger with a clearer explanation of how the message itself causes each disadvantage, and a more balanced, fully developed example for both sides.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “However” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the discussion. Within the disadvantages paragraph, though, several points are crowded together: versatility, trying another sport, early failure, and later decision-making. The sentence “Early sense of failure that affects life decision making afterwards” is also not clearly connected to the surrounding explanation. Use a more deliberate sequence—state one drawback, explain its effect, then illustrate it—and make references such as “this kind of message” and “they” unambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “persistence,” “versatility,” “inevitable,” and “decision making,” which helps express the main ideas. Some less common choices are not used naturally or precisely: “put all their heads in one basket” appears to mix idioms, and “Early sense of failure” is an unclear phrase. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “drwbacks,” “enouraging,” “untill,” and “conlusion.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall argument, but they reduce accuracy and polish. Aim for precise collocations and proofread carefully, especially for spelling and idiomatic expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “when they believe they can achieve a particular goal” and a relative clause in “a child who wants to play football.” The main message is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors make individual sentences awkward or incomplete. For example, “a child … keep trying” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “When kids fail at a particular goal, haven't tried so many times” lacks a clear grammatical connection between its clauses. “A gymnastic student who fails at a particular trick, will refuse” also has unnecessary punctuation separating the subject from its verb. Check agreement, clause structure, and sentence boundaries when editing.

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