Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Its part of some cultures, in which children are taught that every thing is achieveable if they do enough hard work for it. This teaching has both its pros and corns depending upon the situation.

It has alot of prons some of that are: it keeps children motivated and force them to give there best and work hard till last of there breath, this also hepls them to focuse on their goal rather then distracting and using phones for entertainment purpose. Due to this mantelity a bit more efforts are done by children which most of the time pays off at the result day.

While it also have corns some of which are: due to any reason if children do not sucessed then this leads him/her to dipression, they lose all of there motivation and never try there best as they used to do, and even some decides to sucide as they think they did not full filled expectations so they do not have right to live. Just because of this cultural mentality that is inherited into them.

If we summarise all this then this cultural mentality that everything can be achieved if we try hard enough has both its advantages and disadvantage that totally depends upon the situation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question: the message may motivate children to work towards goals, while failure to meet expectations may harm their wellbeing. The examples about effort and possible depression or suicidal thoughts are relevant, and your concluding sentence restates the balanced view. However, the advantages and disadvantages are asserted more than explained; for instance, the link between hard work and results is only briefly mentioned, and the serious mental-health consequence needs careful development rather than a broad claim. Your position is present but not fully clarified. The response also contains 209 words, below the required 250, so there is limited space to develop the ideas. Explain when effort can help, and acknowledge that outcomes may also depend on circumstances beyond a child’s control.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, one paragraph for advantages, one for disadvantages, and a conclusion. This makes the overall arrangement easy to follow, and phrases such as “While” and “If we summarise all this” signal shifts between points. However, the progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, particularly the repeated “some of that are” and “some of which are” framing. The long sentences in the body also combine several claims without clear internal links, while “this” in the final paragraph refers broadly to the preceding discussion. Use clearer topic sentences and divide the supporting points into shorter, logically connected sentences. More precise referencing would help readers see how each example supports the main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “motivated,” “goal,” “expectations,” and “depression,” so the main ideas can be understood. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors or inaccurate word choices are noticeable, including “achieveable,” “corns,” “prons,” “sucessed,” and “dipression.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “work hard till last of there breath” and “at the result day.” Repetition of “hard work,” “children,” and “this cultural mentality” further restricts variety. Build a more accurate set of topic phrases, such as “persevere,” “academic outcomes,” and “unrealistic expectations,” and check spelling and collocations carefully. This would make your meaning clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “if children do not…” and a contrast between advantages and disadvantages. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction sometimes make the reader work to understand the point. For example, “It has alot of prons some of that are” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “it also have corns” has subject–verb disagreement. In “they lose all of there motivation,” the possessive form is incorrect, and the final sentence beginning “If we summarise” is awkwardly constructed. Practise building one clear main clause before adding subordinate clauses, and check agreement and sentence boundaries during proofreading.

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