Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

in many countries, Adolecents are often encouraging to believe that they can achieve everything through hardwork. Although ecouraging children to strongly balieve on hardwork through which they can acquire their goals, it also can develop unrealistic expectations. From my perspective, the advantages of encourageing teenagers may outwiegh disadvantages.

The are so many advantages of enhancing teenagers. Firstly, encouraging childrens can boost their confidence in their careers. They become more brave and believe in their abilities to do anything. For instance, Parental ecouragemet help their adolecents to participate in every competition more confidently. Secondly, Trough dadication teenagers learn consistency, patience, and tolarance. Hordworking people often hold by responsibilities, because of that they are more pacient and afordable. Consequently, teaching the value of hardwork play a significant role in development of childern's confidence.

This believe may have certain drawbacks. One major disdvantage is that children develop unrealistic expectations about succes, which is not always true. Because, hardwork alon can not guarantee acievements, also resources are required such as, financial stability , a strong determination, and enough oppertunities.

In conclusion, incouraging children to work hard can improve their confidence, motivation and patiece. However, parents should also teach them the faliures and

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and give a clear overall view that the benefits may outweigh the drawbacks. The confidence and persistence points are relevant, and you explain that hard work alone cannot guarantee success. However, the response only partially develops these ideas: the competition example is brief, and the disadvantage is stated without explaining how unrealistic expectations might affect children. The conclusion is unfinished (“parents should also teach them the failures and”), so your final position and recommendation are not fully completed. The response also falls 52 words short of the required minimum, which limits the space available to explain and support your points. Develop each side with a specific explanation or example, and complete the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main sections. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and some links are mechanical or inaccurate. For example, “Because, hardwork alon can not guarantee…” is not smoothly connected to the preceding sentence, while “because of that” creates an awkward link in the advantages paragraph. The final sentence stops mid-idea, disrupting the ending. Use clearer links between each claim and its explanation, and ensure that references such as “This believe” clearly identify the idea being discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “confidence,” “consistency,” “unrealistic expectations,” and “financial stability.” These choices show an attempt to discuss both personal qualities and practical barriers. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors make the writing less clear, including “Adolecents,” “ecouragement,” “succes,” and “oppertunities.” Some word combinations are also unnatural, such as “hold by responsibilities” and “more pacient and afordable,” which makes the intended meaning difficult to identify. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise expressions for the effects of encouragement and the limits of effort would help you explain your ideas without repeating general terms such as “hardwork” and “believe.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast in the introduction (“Although…”) and a relative clause in “which is not always true.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “children are often encouraging to believe,” “The are so many advantages,” and “encouraging childrens can boost.” There are also problems with verb forms and agreement, as in “hardwork play,” and sentence boundaries and punctuation are inconsistent, particularly in “Because, hardwork alon can not guarantee acievements, also resources are required.” Practise building accurate sentences with one clear main clause, then add subordinate clauses and check subject–verb agreement and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.