Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Children are the seeds for the future. Many cultures emphasize children to work hard for achieving their dreams. This concept comes with its own advantages and disadvantages. Children can learn things fast by observing them. I will discuss the pros and cons of this particular message given to the younger generation.

Children learns from their surrounding environment. As children grow up, they observe there parents closely and other people around them. When a child grows up, he tends to learn new things by seeing them. Their behavior is shaped by the enrionment they live in. When a child is told to work hard for achieveing his or her dream, they tend to do so. This helps them to develop a particular thinking in their mind that by working hard we can achieve our goals. They can learn it from their family and friends. For example, if a child is not performing well in the academics, this very advice can encourage him to see his surrounding and make him work hard for achieving better results. Secondly, by doing hard work the children are shaped for the future. Growing up, comes with its own challenges. Adults face many new problems and challenegs, that they cannot overcome if they dont have the practice of facing pressures. Hard wokring from young age makes people take instant decisions as they may have seen it before.

On the other hand, the pressure of hard work can make a child sick. Every children cannot take the same pressure. There can be familial, social problems around them when they go up. So forcing children to work hard can reuslt in detoriation of their normal way of thinking. When a children is forced to do hard work, a thinking of "I am alone in this.", can come to their mind. They might shut themselves in their own mind and have unrational thoughts. This can impact the mental health of a child.

In conclusion, the message that is passed to the children have both sides. Bu the advantage side outweighs the disadvantage part. If only a child is taken care in the right way, with the right support they can accomplish their goals by working hard.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and gives a clear overall view: hard work can help children reach goals, while pressure may harm their mental health. The academic-performance example supports the first point, and the discussion of isolation and distress explains a possible disadvantage. However, some ideas are only partly developed or do not directly explain the message in the prompt. For instance, the claim that hard work helps adults make “instant decisions” is not clearly connected to being told that effort can achieve anything. The conclusion also says the advantages outweigh the disadvantages without fully explaining why. Develop each point with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation and qualify the message by recognising that effort matters but cannot guarantee every outcome.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a contrasting paragraph on drawbacks, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the overall direction. Within paragraphs, however, progression is sometimes repetitive or unclear. The opening paragraph repeats that children learn by observing, and several sentences return to the idea of working hard without adding a distinct step to the argument. References such as “This very advice” and “they” can also leave the exact subject unclear. Organise each body paragraph around one main advantage or disadvantage, then explain and illustrate it in sequence. More precise referencing and fewer repeated transitions would make the cohesion less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main ideas, and phrases such as “mental health,” “achieve our goals,” and “familial, social problems” show attempts to discuss the topic beyond very basic terms. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-form, or collocation errors reduce precision: “enrionment,” “challeng es,” “hard wokring,” and “detoriation” are examples. Some expressions are also unnatural, including “Children are the seeds for the future” and “the pressure of hard work can make a child sick.” Choose more precise, natural wording and check spelling carefully. A wider set of terms for effort, expectations, resilience, and emotional strain would help express the argument more accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and complex sentences, including conditional and relative structures, as in “if a child is not performing well…” and “problems…that they cannot overcome.” Meaning is generally understandable, but some errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction remain. Examples include “Children learns,” “there parents,” “Every children cannot take,” and “the message…have both sides.” The sentence beginning “Growing up, comes with its own challenges” also has an unnecessary comma, while “when they go up” does not form a clear grammatical expression in context. Review subject–verb agreement, singular and plural forms, and sentence boundaries. More accurate control of these patterns would make the complex sentences clearer.

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