Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many countries around the world, major public are moving to urban area, so the population in the rural area is been decreasing.People are moving to urban areas for the better education, better job opportunities and for the betterment of the family.

The peoples around the world are moving to the cities, so the population in villages are declining. Residents are moving metropolitian areas for the better eduction of their children because the education in the cities are better than the countryside, thier are lots of colleges, schools and if the parents are not much educated they can easily heir the tutor also. The job opportunities are also higher because their are many multi national companies and the pay scales are also higher e.g. The person who is working in mumbai will earn more than the person who is working in kolhapur.The more money they will earn the better lifestyle they can get and the healthcare problems occurs in the family the wealth is the only thing that will help us and the healthcare is better in the megacities.so it is positive development.

The negative effect is that the peoples had to leave their family sometimes and had to go alone so that makes them feel alone. In urban cities their is much pollution due to industrial area, vehicles so due to that their are chancess of illness. The enviornment in the rural area is far better than that of cities area , we can get fresh vegetables, fruits, milk and many things in villages i.e. the person living in Ahmedabad will have higher chances of an illness than that of person living in villages(Halol).

I think this is 2 sided, for country's growth or the person's financial growth theis development is good but for the better health is not good,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a final view that rural-to-urban migration is mixed: it can support financial and national growth but may harm health. Relevant reasons include access to education, employment, income and healthcare, alongside pollution and separation from family. However, the position is not fully clear until the final sentence, and the opening mainly repeats the prompt rather than establishing your view. Several points are asserted more than explained—for example, the claim that wealth is the only help with family healthcare, and the comparison between Ahmedabad and Halol. Develop fewer ideas with clearer explanation and specific, well-linked examples, and state your overall judgement in the introduction as well as the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining benefits, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a concluding opinion. This helps the reader identify the main topics. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the benefits paragraph moves from education to jobs, income, lifestyle and healthcare in a long chain, with limited separation between points. Linking phrases such as “because,” “so” and “also” are repeated, and some references are unclear, particularly “the wealth is the only thing that will help us.” The conclusion is very brief and does not bring the main arguments together. Use clearer topic sentences, divide related points into manageable sentences, and connect each example explicitly to your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “job opportunities,” “multi national companies,” “pollution,” “healthcare” and “lifestyle,” so the reader can follow the main subject. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or awkward, such as “major public,” “metropolitian areas,” “betterment of the family” and “chancess of illness.” Spelling errors—including “eduction,” “thier,” “enviornment” and “metropolitian”—are noticeable and reduce the precision of the writing. Some wording is also repetitive, especially “better” and “cities.” Build a more accurate set of collocations for migration and its effects, and proofread spelling and word forms. More precise vocabulary would make your comparisons and explanations easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including explanations with “because” and “so,” but control is inconsistent. Errors occur frequently in agreement and verb forms: “the population … are declining,” “the education … are better,” and “is been decreasing.” Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention; for example, the opening runs directly into the next sentence, while the final sentence ends with a comma rather than a full stop. Long sentences such as the one beginning “The job opportunities are also higher” combine several ideas and become difficult to follow. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, past and present forms, and punctuation, then split complex explanations into shorter sentences while retaining clear subordinate clauses.

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