Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argued that rural people are migrating to remote places ,so the . population in the countryside is decreasing. I personally believe that it is a positive development and more reasonable . This esay will discuss both views and explain my opinion .

On the one hand, rural peoples are shifting to countries offers several advantages. The main advantage is they get better lifestyle for themself so that they can complete their dreams and needs . Furthermore , they can raise a healthy family becoz most of the rural places people are living in a very unhygenic areas that can leads to many health problems and economics problems . They can proper education instead of being illterate.

for example in our nursing we go to rural areas to vaccine childrens in that we saw so much wasteage and unhygenic peoples . It is clear that migration is better for rural peoples .

On the other hand ,there are several disadvantages . Firstly, it will increase the population which can arise many problems like over traffic and over population . Secondly there will be more unemployement where people may find difficult to find jobs which can become hard for poeople. Thirdly there will more spread of communicable disease which can affect health of the people . for instance , because of over people living in the cities corona disease was highly spread which was so much harmful .

In conclusion, despite disadvantages like traffic, population , I believe advantages such as good lifestyles , better treatment outweigh them. Therefore,rural people should migrate for themself.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you consider rural-to-urban migration positive, and the conclusion repeats that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. You address both sides, mentioning improved access to education and healthcare as benefits and traffic, population pressure, unemployment, and disease as disadvantages. The nursing example gives your argument a personal, relevant basis. However, some points are asserted rather than explained: for instance, the link between rural living conditions and better family health in cities needs clearer reasoning, and the COVID example does not fully show how migration itself caused the spread. Develop each main point with a more precise explanation or example, and keep the focus on the effects of rural depopulation as well as migrants’ prospects.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the overall direction. However, connections within paragraphs are sometimes mechanical, and the sequence of ideas is not always smooth. The nursing example, for instance, is introduced abruptly and its relevance to the claim about migration could be made clearer. Some references, such as “which can become hard for people,” are vague, while punctuation around linking phrases is inconsistent. Use clearer topic sentences, connect examples explicitly to the point they support, and vary transitions so the essay progresses more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “migrating,” “unemployment,” “communicable disease,” and “population.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts less clear or natural. Examples include “rural peoples,” “better lifestyle,” “over traffic,” and “wasteage”; “unhygenic” and “illterate” are also misspelled. Repetition of general terms such as “people,” “problems,” and “good” limits precision. Build a bank of accurate phrases for urban pressures and rural services, and check spelling and word forms. More precise vocabulary would help express your ideas without relying on broad or awkward wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “so that,” “because,” and “which,” and the overall meaning is usually understandable. However, some sentence structures and grammatical forms are inaccurate, particularly in longer sentences. For example, “rural peoples are shifting to countries offers” lacks a clear grammatical connection, while “most of the rural places people are living” has an unclear subject structure. There are also errors in agreement and articles, as in “that can leads” and “a healthy family,” and punctuation is inconsistent. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Proofread for agreement, sentence boundaries, and commas so complex ideas remain clear.

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