Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Most of the countries around the world , resident living in the remote areas migrating toward coties , so the number of habitat in the rural areas is reducing

In my opinion this trend has both positive and negative aspect

On the one hand , moving to cities can be beneficail because of vast work oppurtunties also there is significant development which play important role in student life belongs to remote area its increase the chances for the student to continue their higher studies . Also there are more facilities regarding children as there is avalibilty of park for children or also I would love to mention about the great facility best hospitals which are way more better then countryside

On the other hand

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a relevant response by stating that the trend has “both positive and negative” aspects and explaining benefits such as employment, higher education, parks and hospitals. However, the response addresses the question only partially: the negative side is not developed at all, as the essay stops after “On the other hand,” and your overall judgement of whether the development is positive or negative remains unclear. The supporting points on the positive side are also brief and lack examples or explanation of their effects. The response is 124 words, below the required 250, which leaves the task substantially incomplete. To improve, state a clear overall position, develop both sides (or clearly prioritise one), and support each main point with explanation and a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: you introduce the issue, give a view, and use “On the one hand” to begin a supporting paragraph. These signals show an awareness of how to structure an argument. However, there is no completed opposing paragraph or conclusion, so the ideas do not form a clear overall progression; the final phrase, “On the other hand,” is left unfinished. Within the positive paragraph, several points—work, education, parks and hospitals—are listed without clear links explaining how they relate. Develop a complete paragraph for each main idea, use linking expressions to show cause and contrast, and finish with a conclusion that restates your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “remote areas,” “work opportunities,” “higher studies,” “facilities” and “hospitals.” This gives you enough basic language to communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited, and frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word choices make parts difficult to read, for example “coties,” “habitat” where you mean people or residents, “beneficail,” and “way more better.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “significant development which play important role in student life.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. For instance, you could write “employment opportunities,” “access to higher education,” and “better-equipped hospitals” to express your ideas more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, particularly in the sentence beginning “moving to cities can be…” and the explanation about students’ chances of continuing their studies. This shows some effort to use more than simple statements. However, the range remains limited, and errors are frequent enough to make several sentences awkward or unclear. Examples include “Most of the countries … resident living,” “which play important role,” and “its increase the chances”; these show problems with sentence construction, subject–verb agreement, articles and pronoun reference. Commas are also placed inconsistently around introductory phrases. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using clauses such as “because” and “which,” checking agreement and articles in each sentence.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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