Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. I firmly this phenomenon may full agree for this development. We will discuss this essay why i regarded as a positive development.

First of all, we will discuss the main advantage are better job opportunities. it is largely because al village has no better job opportunities so this reason many rural masses moving to cities. As a result rural masses shifting to cities and there enjoy a better life with goof facilities. The second main reason is better education. It is largely because all villages has no higher educational teachers so this reason many masses moving to cities. Furthermore cities has substantial big education center and big university are available there. The other advantage are cities has a better place for starting the business. Owing to the rural place there has a not best place for started the new business. but there has a best place for start the small business and learn how to start the new business.

There has a few negative developments . The main disadvantage are overpopulation. It is largely because cities has a substantial number of population and city has a many traffic. So this reason rural people don't go to the cities. The other reason are cities has a many pollution. so this reason some rural people don't go to the cities.

In conclusion, government should send the higher education teacher in all schools and open the better job opportunities in the rural people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear overall view that the movement is positive and offer relevant reasons, including employment, education and business opportunities, while also acknowledging overcrowding and pollution. However, the position is not expressed clearly in the opening: “I firmly this phenomenon may full agree for this development” is difficult to interpret, and the conclusion shifts to recommendations for rural areas rather than directly reaffirming your judgement. Most points are asserted rather than explained with specific examples, so the response addresses the task only partially and the ideas remain under-developed. The response is 240 words, which is 10 words below the required minimum; the 20 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each reason with a clear explanation or relevant example, and state your position directly in both the introduction and conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph presenting advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages and a conclusion. The sequence of topics is generally understandable, and phrases such as “First of all,” “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” help signal movement between points. However, progression within paragraphs is often repetitive or unclear. “It is largely because” and “so this reason” recur, while the links between claims and their consequences are not always logical—for example, the discussion of traffic and pollution ends by saying rural people “don't go to the cities.” Paragraphing is present, but the conclusion does not clearly resolve the argument. Use fewer repeated linkers, make each sentence build on the previous one, and ensure that each paragraph supports your stated position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “job opportunities,” “higher education,” “overpopulation,” “traffic” and “pollution,” so the reader can identify the main subject of each point. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “substantial number of population.” However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “rural masses,” “goof facilities,” “substantial big education center” and “best place for started the new business.” These are mainly problems of word choice, collocation or word form. Aim for natural, precise combinations and avoid repeating “better” and “big”; for instance, describe access to services, educational institutions and suitable conditions for business rather than relying on vague claims.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas using clauses such as “It is largely because…” and “Owing to…,” but most sentences follow a simple pattern, and attempts at longer structures are often faulty. Errors in sentence formation and agreement occur frequently: “the main advantage are,” “all villages has,” and “cities has” do not maintain subject–verb agreement. Other examples include “I firmly this phenomenon may full agree” and “there has a few negative developments,” where the sentence structure obscures the intended meaning. Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent, as in the lowercase “it” after a full stop and “but” beginning a sentence. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking subjects, verbs, articles and sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.