Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In recent year, In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities ,therfor the population in the countryside is decreasing has become popolar .This essay will be discuss its postive or negative development

On the one hand, there are many postive development many people are coming the cities because there have every facilities provide and city life is very good because in city big parks college and shopping mole. for example big city and big school ,college, univeristy, hospitals , hotel etc , when your are ill then go to well hospital and chak the dieases on 10 mints or in city meet good job On the other hand ,there are some ngative development , firstly, that the city are very noise and pollution and the natural air is most less and let he is provide in his many joms amd city they do not provide natural milks and vegatibles .for instance,village in houses is very large and beautiful and in city houses is very small and not a comfortanble ,so village life is good, In conclusion, although city life is good because goverment provide all facilities in city in many schools hospitals etc in postive development and negative too mucg pollution and noise and not natural milks and vegetablies in c

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address the topic by presenting advantages of city life, such as access to schools and hospitals, and disadvantages, including noise, pollution, and smaller homes. However, the task asks you to decide whether this is a positive or negative development, and your position is not clearly established: the conclusion calls city life positive but also says it is negative, without weighing the two. The supporting points are mostly listed rather than explained, and some examples are difficult to understand. The response also contains 203 words, below the required 250; the 12 words copied from the prompt were not counted. To improve, state a clear overall view, explain how each reason supports it, and develop relevant examples in a complete response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, two sides of the argument, and a conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers recognise these sections. However, ideas within the body paragraphs are often presented as a string of loosely connected points, such as parks, colleges, shopping malls, hospitals, and jobs, without a clear sequence or explanation. The conclusion repeats points but does not resolve the contrast between the two sides. Some connections are also unclear, particularly where examples run together. Use one main idea per paragraph, connect each example directly to that idea, and make the conclusion consistent with the position stated in the introduction.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic and repetitive, but it includes some relevant topic words, including “pollution,” “facilities,” “hospitals,” and “natural air.” This gives you a starting point for discussing rural and urban life. However, frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word choices make parts of the response difficult to understand, for example “popolar,” “shopping mole,” “chak the dieases,” and “natural milks.” Several phrases are also unnatural, such as “city life is very good” and “meet good job.” Build a more precise range of topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations. For example, you could describe “access to public services,” “employment opportunities,” and “fresh local produce” rather than relying on broad or unclear expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences and uses basic linking structures, but its grammatical range is very limited and errors are frequent enough to obscure meaning. Examples include “This essay will be discuss,” “there have every facilities provide,” and “the city are very noise,” which show problems with verb forms, sentence construction, and subject–verb agreement. Articles and plurals are also often missing or inaccurate, as in “in city big parks” and “many positive development.” Punctuation and spacing make sentence boundaries difficult to identify. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine related ideas using clauses such as “because” and “although.” Check each sentence for a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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