Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many countries people who lived in village moved to cities because there are great opportunitiess in cities as compare to village. Although moving to cities provide better opportunities, i believe the decline of rural population is largely negative.

To begin with, moving to cities had a great advantage for the people because they can easily find better job and easily grow their business. People have a great facility of schools, college and universities in city life and they easily gets a high education in the best institues. Also another great importance of city is hospitals and seniors doctors where people can get a best treatment. People who lived in city generate a high income and change their living standards. In my opinion i think people city life is full of adventages and people who lived in city can easily change their life standards.

Moreover, I believe the disadvantage of this is more significant one major problem is that rural area may lose a large part of their young and skilled workforce. This can reduce agriculture production because fewer skilled farmer are available. In aaddition the decline in rural population can weaken local population and cause local tarditional lifestyle to disappear. At the same time the rapid growth of urban population may cause serious problems like overcrowding, air pollution and high noices of vehicles.

In conclusion, although moving to cities can gave better access of jobs, education and other facilites, i believe that overall impact is negative, The lose of worker and communication in rural areas, overcrowding and noise is a major issue to distrube the mental health of the people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you acknowledge that city migration brings benefits, but argue that the overall effect is negative. You address both sides with relevant points, including access to jobs, education and healthcare, the loss of rural workers, and urban overcrowding and pollution. This covers the task well, while the range of relevant ideas shows some movement beyond a basic response. However, several points are asserted rather than explained. For example, you mention the disappearance of traditional lifestyles and effects on mental health, but do not show how these consequences arise or give a concrete example. Develop the strongest points with a brief explanation or illustration, and make the comparison between rural and urban effects more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on city advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression from benefits to your main concern is generally easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. Cohesion is less controlled within some paragraphs. The second paragraph repeats the idea of improved living standards, while “Moreover” introduces a disadvantage without clearly connecting it to the preceding discussion. The sentence beginning “I believe the disadvantage…” also runs several ideas together. Use clearer topic sentences, avoid repeating points, and connect each supporting detail explicitly to the paragraph’s main claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “skilled workforce,” “agriculture production,” “overcrowding,” and “air pollution.” There are also attempts to express more specific concepts, such as the loss of a “traditional lifestyle.” However, inaccurate word choice, collocation and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less clear. Examples include “as compare to village,” “high noices,” “communication in rural areas,” and “the lose of worker.” Some wording is also repetitive, particularly “great” and “easily.” Build accuracy by learning common collocations for migration, employment and rural communities, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would make your argument clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concessive opening with “Although” and a cause-and-effect explanation beginning “This can reduce…”. The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors occur across the response. For example, “people who lived in village moved” has problems with articles and tense, while “they easily gets” has subject–verb disagreement. The sentence “Moreover, I believe the disadvantage of this is more significant one major problem is…” joins clauses without a clear grammatical connection, and the conclusion contains a comma splice. Practise consistent tense, articles, plural forms and agreement, and divide long or joined ideas into complete sentences. Greater control of these patterns would make your reasoning easier to follow.

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