Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

There is no denying the fact that, moving to cities become increasingly popular among houholds in recent years, while it is a commonly held belief that living in the cities offer numerous benefits, ther's another people who argue that it also provides drawbacks. this essay will analyse the topic from both points of view.

One one hand . living in the ceities will facilitate the patern of living by providing all the facilities,which can help you to travall by offering bus, cars and taxi, in citties we can see people more diffrent montaly and more developed, for exemple , in citties you have more oppurtunities of work bcause of several facilities, morever citties are more developed in all thing

On the other hand , although the cities offer several benefits, it also provides numerous drawbacks. citties offer anoisy atmosphere because of the transportation methods like car and bus. in addition, the citties are more pulluted especialy in recent years du to the the The enormous number of people those who throw the garbag in public places. and it th e three diffrent type of pullution like air poluttion bcause the smok of burned fules . for instance in citties you will find more people sufring from lunges illenesse and another illnesses

In conclusion, There is a lot of easy answer for this quation. On balance, however itend to believd that living in citties is a double eged sword a'd have bothe dvantage and disadvandtag should be considered and all we have to do it

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response recognises that moving to cities has both benefits and drawbacks, mentioning employment opportunities and access to facilities on one side, and noise and pollution on the other. However, the task asks whether the decline in rural populations is positive or negative, and your discussion focuses mainly on city life rather than explaining the effects of people leaving the countryside. The introduction says the essay will consider “both points of view,” while the conclusion calls the situation a “double edged sword,” so your overall position is not clearly established. Several points are also only briefly stated—for example, the work opportunities are not illustrated or explained. Address the rural-to-urban shift directly and support a clear judgement with relevant consequences and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a recognisable essay structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “One one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader a basic sense of the intended contrast. However, progression within the paragraphs is difficult to follow because ideas are loosely connected, and some sentences run together, such as the sequence about transport, facilities, and work opportunities. Linking phrases including “in addition” and “for instance” are attempted, but the example about illness is not clearly connected to the preceding point. The conclusion also introduces an unclear phrase, “a lot of easy answer.” Organise each paragraph around one main idea, use clear sentence boundaries, and make each example explicitly support that idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “facilities,” “opportunities of work,” “transportation,” and “pollution,” and it attempts to distinguish advantages from drawbacks. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with “cities” and “more” appearing frequently. Numerous spelling errors—such as “ceities,” “oppurtunities,” “pulluted,” and “quation”—and inaccurate or unnatural expressions, including “facilitate the patern of living” and “three diffrent type of pullution,” make parts of the message difficult to understand. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms for rural change and its consequences would also help you address the question directly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including a contrast introduced by “although” and a reason introduced by “because.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation frequently interrupt the message. For example, “moving to cities become increasingly popular” lacks a suitable verb form, while “living in the cities offer” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The opening sentence is joined awkwardly, and several later sentences contain fragments or run-on structures. Capitalisation and spacing around punctuation are also inconsistent. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one clear subordinate clause; proofread each sentence for a complete subject and verb.

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